The Tough Choices
by PenelopeDavis
Summary: After Liam finds out about Hope's pregnancy, he tells Steffy he wants to wait to get married. He might be waiting a very long time. Steffy is tired of Liam's indecision and makes a decision of her own, to do the best thing for her and her daughter. But will everyone agree on what that is? Will Liam let her go without a fight? And will Steffy find security somewhere else?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Back at it with another one! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: With the exception of the OC, I do not own any of these characters.

 **Steffy POV**

I felt him drifting away the minute he told me the news. I wasn't being insecure or paranoid, either. I knew the signs. I'd seen them before.

I told him I wanted to get married. I knew he had been disappointed that I had wanted to wait a while after he proposed.

Then, he told me Hope was pregnant.

And my heart sank.

I couldn't let it show though, because I knew he was happy even though it was complicated.

And I had to acknowledge that every baby is a blessing.

It hurt like hell, but I was supportive. I understood that this was a happy moment for him and I promised I would be there for him, but I saw the distant look in his eyes.

Though he had promised forgiveness and reassured me that his decision to make a life with me was not solely about Kelly, I knew that I couldn't be 100% sure of anything with him.

I would never be able to, because he always had another option in Hope, and now he was going to have another family with Hope.

When he decided we should wait to get married until things were less complicated, I knew what he was really saying.

He didn't want to be wrapped up in a marriage with me so just in case he got swayed to Hope's side, it would be a clean break.

And I smiled through it, promised to be there when he was ready, but I was tired.

I was tired to the bone, of everything.

The continuous ping pong match between me and Hope was exhausting, and it resulted in almost equal amounts of pain as it did joy.

The single beautiful gift from any of this torment was Kelly, and the thought of her knowing her father, and having his constant presence in her life for a short few months, before he disappeared and became a part time parent brought me a pain unlike any I'd ever felt.

But I kept faith.

I talked myself down from every ledge, but Hope came over, spouting off about her loyalty versus mine, her better character against my less than stellar track record. I would be disappointed when he chose her, and she was just trying to prepare me.

That was her argument.

To top it all off, Bill made an appearance. The pest that never seemed to leave, making sure I remembered every time Liam had been flaky, and disloyal, and indecisive, and how much it had hurt each time.

He painted a picture perfectly in tune with Liam's behaviour, his indecision would mean that he would be running between the two of us and our children their whole lives.

And it broke me, because I couldn't even call him a liar.

Nothing he was saying was untrue.

It was exactly what had happened before, and probably what would happen again, but this time, it wouldn't just be me he hurt.

I got rid of Bill, practically shoving him out the door, collapsing into a mess of tears and anxiety on my couch.

When Kelly's cries sounded on the baby monitor, I picked up my beautiful daughter.

As I rocked her back to sleep, I stared down at her little face, the long dark lashes brushing against her cheeks, her cute pursed little mouth. She was so innocent, she hadn't yet been hardened by any of the obstacles life would throw at her, and I was determined to keep her that way.

I wondered what would be best for her.

A life of disappointment from her father, or simply wondering about a father she never knew and didn't remember?

It wasn't until late that night that I made my decision.

Liam walked in after I'd already eaten dinner and Kelly was down for the night, or at least a couple hours.

"Hey." He sounded surprised to see me, in our home.

"Hi." I said.

"I was at Forrester." He said. "Katie and Thorne are worried about the threats on the Hope for the Future website."

What that really meant was he spoke to Katie and Thorne for a few minutes, and then spent the rest of the day with Hope, who if she was half as fired up as when she'd been here, had spent the day lobbying for him to leave me, using everything in her arsenal, which meant bashing me.

I didn't bring that up though.

"Any headway finding the person?" I asked.

"No." He said. "And I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt Hope."

She's perfect, and amazing. He didn't say it, but I knew he was thinking it, if his expression was any indication or how fired up he was.

"Yeah, she was over today." I said, watch some of that expression leave his face.

"Yeah, she told me." He muttered.

"Of course, she did." I rolled my eyes, which lit Liam's fuse.

"It wasn't like that, Steffy." He said. "She said it was pretty civil."

I laughed. Of course, it was, Hope didn't need to raise her voice to deliver her snide remarks.

He scowled.

I was treading on thin ice. Hope was above fault in his eyes, but I didn't care. I was over caring.

"Let me guess." I smiled, but it was anything but kind. "She poured out her heart to you, which really means, she painted the perfect future you guys could have, and reminded you about my betrayal and what an awful person I am, right?"

He stared at me with his sad puppy dog eyes.

"And tell me if I get this wrong, but you sat there smiling with her about your beautiful future and stayed completely silent when she tore me down."

"It wasn't like that, Steffy." He said, reaching for my hand, but he wouldn't sway me with sweet words and soft touches.

"I don't believe you." I pulled my hands away. "Tell the truth, Liam. Don't worry, it won't hurt me, it's not anything she didn't say when she was here."

He sighed. "She just mentioned Bill, and yes she did say something a lack of character on your part and mentioned that I'd never have to worry about that with her." He stared down at his feet.

"And you didn't say anything." It wasn't a question, so he didn't answer. I didn't need him to though, I knew he'd said nothing in my defence.

It still hurt though, and I felt the tears build up in my eyes at what I was about to do.

"Why are you with me, Liam, if you think I'm such a lesser person than you and Hope?"

"I don't think that." He knelt in front of me, taking my hands, grasping them in his, and I let him, because it would be the last time he had to comfort me this way. I wouldn't let him do this to me anymore.

"Yeah, you do." I sniffed. "Because a person who doesn't believe those things, who loves someone, would never listen to someone else tear that person down."

He didn't have an answer for me, and I laughed through my tears, because what had I been fighting for all these years? I convinced myself that Liam was the guy for me, when really, he was just the guy who hurt me.

I deserved better.

I'd kill two birds with one stone. Liam wouldn't hurt me, Bill would leave me alone, and Kelly would be at a safe distance from all the pain that surrounded Liam Spencer.

I took of the engagement ring, placing it in his hand.

"What are you doing, Steffy?" Liam asked, genuinely upset. That's what always confused me, that he could love me and not defend me, that he could want to be with me and Hope, that he could love us both.

And for the first time in my life I was beginning to realize, there had to be someone he loved more, and I didn't think it was me.

"I'm not going to marry you." I said, watching as tears filled his eyes. I didn't know if they were for me, or because he feared not being there for Kelly. A loud, cynical part of me thought that he was going to stay with me for the nine months Hope was pregnant and then leave us for the new baby.

It didn't matter now.

It wasn't his decision to make.

Hope loved to remind me that Liam's decisions were his, and he got to decide who he wanted to be with.

I always thought that was so 1800s because it was my decision too, who I wanted to be with, and as of right now, for the first time in almost 10 years, I didn't want to be with Liam.

"This isn't an ultimatum or a trick. I realize that life is very complicated for you right now, possibly more than ever. You've never been able to choose between me and Hope, and I let it go. Did it hurt? Yes, it did. Every. Single. Time. But I was strong enough to handle it." He frowned, shaking his head, trying to place the ring back in my hands, but I closed them into fists. "I know first-hand what it's like to have a father that loves two women and can't decide, and I won't do that to Kelly or Hope's baby. So, I've made the decision."

"Steffy, please don't." He cried, his tears getting caught in his scruff. "I just need time."

"This isn't a ploy, Liam. I'm not trying to force your decision, because I don't care what it is anymore." I shrugged. "I know you'll always be there for Kelly because you're a good man, and you don't have to be with me to do that."

I removed myself from him, putting some distance between us. I was oddly drawn to the fireplace, staring at the pictures of us, trying to soak in those small moments of happiness. They were beautiful, but mom and dad had beautiful moments too, and moments where they were miserable and moments when he wasn't there.

Somehow, I'd found myself in the same situation, trapped in a never-ending circle with a man who loved two women.

I wanted better for Kelly. I would give her better.

"It's going to be okay." I said, more for my benefit than his. "I prepared myself for this almost my whole pregnancy. I was ready to do this by myself and, I still am. She's too young to understand what's going on, and you'll still be in her life. I'll FaceTime you anything important that happens when you're not there, and you'll have her on the certain days when she's older and on solid food. I'll get a lawyer and we can have a custody agreement drawn up that works for both of us."

"You've given this a lot of thought." Liam stared down at my ring in his hand.

"I have." I said. "Now I realize you don't have a place of your own right now, and I've decided that you can stay here. It's not ideal, but there's a new budding fashion house in Paris that my dad and I really want to partner up with—" Liam shook his head, determined eyes meeting mine.

"You can't take her." He said.

I sighed. "We need space and time apart. My mom has been desperate to meet her, and this partnership would be huge for Forrester. It would just be a couple weeks, Liam, enough time for you to find a place of your own, and for me to close this deal."

He shook his head. "No."

"She's still breastfeeding, Liam. I can't leave her here with you and I can't stay."

"Yes, you can." He said.

"No, I can't." I cried. "I'll only be gone however long it takes to close this deal, and then I'll be back. I'll FaceTime you every day, and send you pictures, but this—" I sighed, wiping at my face. "this is what we need to do to move on from this, okay?"

"No, it's not okay." He yelled in hushed whispers.

I shrugged. "It's just the way it has to be for now."

I turned, heading to our room. "You can take the spare bedroom." I said before shutting myself in, sliding down the door, tears overwhelming, drowning me.

It could only get better from here, right?

A/N: I promise it will only get better from here, for Steffy. Totally Steffy-centric fanfiction, and also for the sake of this story, Kelly is 1 month old right now, I'm not sure how old she is in the actual show right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A/N: In this story, discovering the stalkers identity is going to be made much later and will be very different than in the show. Also, because this is such a Steffy-centric story, I'm not going to alternate POV for every chapter, so Liam chapters are going to be every once in a while.

So continuing Steffy's POV…Enjoy!

Paris had always been rather therapeutic for me. The city of lights, love, and fashion had been my home many times, and I was beyond grateful that the new startup, The Raven Model, was based in Paris. There was something in the air —or maybe it was simply the distance—that always made me feel lighter, safer, calm.

And by the time we landed in Paris on Monday morning, I needed to feel that again.

The weekend had strained mine and Liam's relationship even more, if you could believe it. His sadness had turned to barely restrained anger. We couldn't be in the same room together without Kelly, because he would start with the passive aggressive glares, and muttered comments that were difficult to ignore, but I tried my hardest.

I understood.

Though it wasn't permanent, I was the one taking Kelly to Paris.

It was easy for him to blame me, and frankly I'd probably react the same.

Despite all that, Liam had insisted on coming with us all the way to the jet, and I let him because I knew he was going to miss Kelly.

It did make for a rather awkward send off. He'd been sad, whispering to Kelly how much he loved her and was going to miss her, and was noticeably silent towards me. Not that I wanted him to bear his heart and soul to to me, it wouldn't change anything. Kelly broke the silence when she decided it was the perfect time to make a grab for his nose.

We were laughing, but then he stared at me for a second too long, and it became uncomfortable again, so we boarded, with me promising to call him when we landed.

And when we did, I stepped out onto the tarmac and let the Paris air surround me, hoping that it would give me an instant relief, but it didn't.

Liam was still present in my mind, I was still hurting from making the clean break, and it didn't feel like something that would ever go away.

But it didn't hurt as much as it did on Friday, and that's all I could ask for.

My mom was waiting for us at my old apartment and immediately swept Kelly away while I told the mover where everything went. When Liam called, I handed the phone of to Mom claiming to be busy. She and Kelly had already situated themselves in a little play corner on a blanket.

The sound of Liam's voice through the phone was making it hard to focus as I directed the movers. My hope was that Liam would be satisfied that he'd seen Kelly, but he waited on the phone until everyone had left, and I was free enough to talk.

"Hey." He said.

I stared down at his face, a face I'd hoped to escape for longer than 11 hours.

"Hi."

"How's everything? How's Paris?" He asked.

"It's good. Kelly has mom wrapped around her little fingers. I doubt I'll get to even hold her for the next few hours." I smiled, trying to think of what to say. "Um, Kelly was okay on the flight, she took a long nap, waking up every couple of hours like she does, but she wasn't too fussy. The altitude didn't seem to bother her too much."

"That's good. She looked like she was having fun." We laughed.

"Yeah, definitely soaking in all the attention." My laughter dying out into a sigh. "So, anyway—"

"How're you?" Liam asked.

"Busy. I'm just trying to get everything ready, make Kelly feel as at home as possible, and try not to be too jet lagged for the meeting tomorrow."

He nodded. "I meant how are you feeling Steffy?"

"Fine. The change of scenery has been good. I missed Paris. It's beautiful out here." I said, but he could tell I wasn't giving him the whole truth.

"Steffy." He pressed.

I groaned. "Fine, it sucks. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Well, it was your choice." He muttered.

"Well, somebody had to make one." I rolled my eyes. "Listen I'll call you later before I put Kelly down for her nap."

"Wait." He sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? It's just going to take some time for me to get used to this."

"Yeah, I know." I said. "So, how're you?"

"It sucks, but I've been keeping busy. I've been looking for a new place. Wyatt said I could stay with him if I still haven't found a place when you get back, but I've seen some pretty good options."

I was surprised Hope hadn't offered him his old place at the cabin already or maybe she just didn't know yet.

"And everything at Forrester?" I asked.

"Fine. Its been hectic. Everyone is still preoccupied looking for the stalker, so they might push the HFTF relaunch."

I nodded.

"She doesn't know." He said.

"I didn't ask."

"Well, you didn't have to." He sighed. "Listen, I think its best if we not tell anyone until you get back."

Yeah, just perfect. Then, I would have to witness the countless propositions myself.

"Yeah, okay, but you don't have to. You're not as good at keeping secrets as you think you are. It'll get out somehow. Listen, I really have to go. I'll call you later."

I didn't wait for his objections, just hung up. There was plenty of awkward conversation with him in my future. I didn't need so much of it right now.

Mom came sat beside me, placing Kelly in her lap.

"How're you doing, baby?" She asked.

"I'll be fine." I promised.

I would be okay.

A/N: Kind of a filler, not much happening in this chapter. I just wanted to give you guys a little something and set up for next chapter. I'll try to update frequently. Until next time…:-)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: Back at it again with another one.

So, I tried not to think about Liam, I really did.

And for the most part Paris had done its job. I'd felt better.

Marginally.

But after Liam's phone call, I couldn't seem to get him off my mind.

Sleep was out of the question and had been all weekend, Paris was no different.

For the first time in a long time, I was sleeping alone.

Sure, I'd had too for most of my pregnancy, but I never really felt it because Kelly was still with me then, but now the bed truly felt empty and Liam's absence in it was heartbreaking.

It was strange noticing how much you needed something you thought was so insignificant.

Like the way he would wrap his arms around me, and I would snuggle into his chest.

Or the way he would brush my hair off my neck.

I'd never given these things a passing thought until I couldn't sleep without them.

Thus, my first sleepless night in Paris.

It wouldn't bother me so much if the meeting with Raven's executive wasn't depending on me being alert and charming.

Not to mention, Kelly had been fussy and clingy all morning.

So, even though I got them to agree to a late brunch, I was exhausted, sleep-deprived, and forced to bring along a fussy baby who wouldn't stay with my mom, even though she'd agreed to follow me to the restaurant to keep her close by.

So, there I was rushing into the bistro, with a stroller, a baby bag, a briefcase, and spit up that I hoped my blazer did a good job of covering up.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. It's been a crazy morning, you must be Raven." I said, locking the breaks on Kelly's stiller, placing the baby bag on the floor and checking to make sure Kelly was still asleep inside. Hopefully, I could crack this meeting out before she woke up from her nap.

I glanced up at who was supposed to be Raven, head designer and president of the Raven Model, and instead met the green gaze of a tall man, with blond hair, and scruff on his jaw that didn't quite match his clean-cut three-piece suit.

"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong table." I said.

"No." He smiled. "You don't."

And boy, if his voice didn't just melt butter.

He stood walking over to my side, stretching out him arm to greet me.

"I'm Ryan Shay, CEO of the Raven Model. Raven is my sister."

"Um-" I was momentarily dazzled. "Sorry." I said taking his hand. "I was just expecting to meet with Raven Shay. I'm just a little surprised is all."

He smiled, a mischievous one-sided grin that made dimples appear in his cheeks. A smile that promised trouble and had broken a few hearts for sure.

"Hopefully not disappointed." He said.

I shook my head, a smile tugging at my lips as well.

"No, of course not. It's great to meet you." He pulled out my chair for me before returning to his. "Sorry, I don't know where my heads at. I'm Steffy Forrester."

"Co-CEO of Forrester Creations alongside Ridge Forrester." He said.

"Yes." I smiled. "Looks like somebody did their research."

"It pays to be well-informed. And who might this little lady be?" He asked.

"This is my daughter Kelly. I had to bring her along, she's been having a bit of a hard day. I hope you don't mind." I said to be polite.

"Of course not. Who am I to complain about being in the presence of two beautiful ladies?"

I laughed.

"Yeah, she's quite a stunner and she knows it too."

"Well, with a mother who looks like you." He flashed that easy smile that made his eyes sparkle, and I was tempted to call for a waiter simply to ask if he was flirting with me.

I mean he couldn't be right?

It'd been so long since I'd been flirted with and was single for it to even register that I wasn't sure anymore.

"Anyway, my father and I are very interested in forming a partnership with the Raven Model. We're impressed by everything you've accomplished thus far; your designs are beautiful, and we'd love to help you and be a part of your future success."

"Yes." He said, his easy charm fading some. "And why should we entertain the idea of a partnership with Forrester creations?"

"I suppose your research was very thorough." I commented.

"It was. You were a floundering fashion house until fairly recent, people had lost interest in your designs, but you were able to recapture their interest with the California Freedom line, and the renewed interest brought back enough buzz to get people interested in your rather worn out Couture line. I know that scandal follows this fashion house more than bees to honey, and more times than not it significantly impacts your lines and revenue. So why should we form a partnership with you when we're doing just fine on our own?"

I'd been misted by his good looks and easy charm, but he was quite cut throat. He was an executive protecting his investments and I needed to be equally as ruthless and savvy, or I wouldn't make this deal.

Thing is, I hadn't had much cut throat the past month.

Hopefully he couldn't call my bluff.

"Okay, you make some fair points. We haven't always had the most stellar reputation, and sometimes we've had some failures, and a lot of that had more to do with our family disputes than it did our designs and our talent. You should know how it is working with family. Sometimes old relationships, and bad blood can get in the way of production, but we've worked past that and are one of the biggest names in fashion and have been ever since we were founded in 1958. You want to know what we can offer you? Experience, notoriety, there are things that we have, that we've learned that can only be learned from being around as long as we have."

"And you will teach us these things, and we'll become another line under the Forrester Creations umbrella?" He asked. "Because we like our independence. Raven doesn't play well with others. We're used to doing things our own way. We don't do well with instruction."

"That's not what I'm offering." I said. "We at Forrester are hoping for a partnership, one where you remain completely independent, but we would hold a stake in your company, and you in ours. We're willing to invest a negotiable amount of money into your company for a 15% stake in your company. In return, you will own 5% of Forrester Creations."

He shook his head. "That's not going to work. 15% of Forrester Creations, and you can decrease whatever sum you were willing to pay."

"We're not willing to lose that much ownership."

"That's our counter offer. Take it or leave it." He smiled.

He wasn't anything like I'd expected. I had done my research too, mostly on Raven, because that's who I'd originally thought I was meeting with. I'd lined up my pitch specifically for her. I knew what had inspired her to start this fashion house. I knew that she was a little eccentric, somewhat rebellious, and crazy creative. With our shared love for motorcycles, zip-lining, and what some would call a bit of a recklessly adventurous attitude, she'd seemed like a person that I could make a great connection with.

But Ryan…

As far as the Raven Model, he tended to operate behind the scenes. I had no idea how he operated, what made him click, because he was very private as far as business dealings went. Their fashion house seemed to appear out of nowhere with a big splash, and then disappear until their next huge announcement. Not even my most trusted contacts and colleagues with whom we shared business would tell me much about him, or how he conducted his affairs.

Just that he was charming, and gorgeous. Paris' most eligible bachelor, or most notorious playboy depending on who was doing the gushing.

And all I had gathered from this meeting was that he was a flirt. He knew how good he looked and definitely used it as a mist. He did whatever was best for his sister, and their company.

I just wasn't sure it was best for Forrester.

"Don't worry." He said. "I'll give you all the time to you need to think it over."

He smiled that charming smile again. Like he hadn't just did a Jekyll and Hyde. Like he hadn't just laid all Forrester's pitfalls to bare. Like he hadn't just upped the ante.

"Should we order?" He asked, motioning for the waiter.

"Um, yeah, sure." I stuttered.

"So, tell me about yourself. A partnership with you is rather appealing."

And welcome back, Mr. Flirt.

"Oh, you didn't get enough in your research?"

"I'd rather hear it from you." He smirked.

"There's not much to tell. I'm CEO, former president(?) and model for Forrester Creations. I love Paris, used to live here when I worked at International and my mom is still here. It's like a second home to me. And I just recently had this little nugget." I smiled over at where she was, thankfully, still sleeping.

"There's more." He said.

"Information I save for my friends."

He feigned shock. "We're not friends. And here I thought we were getting close."

"Well, I don't know anything about you, either."

"All you have to do is ask." He winked.

"What? Like 20 Questions." I said, thanking the waiter as he delivered our food.

"Exactly. I'll even let you go first."

A/N: This one took a little longer. I have a new respect for all writers and the commitment it takes to come up with a completely original three-dimensional character. I wrote many, and this is the one I'm most happy with and I'm still not 100% about it, but here it is. I'll try to update again before next Thursday.

Until next time… :-)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: Back at it with another one, and way sooner than I expected. Enjoy!

I stared at him over my plate of the best linguini in Paris, maybe the world.

Seriously, it was that good.

But despite the amazing food and ambience, I was confused.

Ryan confused me.

I was tempted to take him at face value. I didn't care what he did with his personal life. That was his. It didn't bother me that he was a flirt, I'd met many, and hopefully, I would again when and if I decided to flirt back. It didn't even bother me when he was harsh about Forrester's history.

I could understand being strong in defence of something you've created.

I felt the same way about Kelly, I'd fight and die to protect her from anything.

Everything.

But a nagging part of me that just wouldn't shut up wanted me to figure out if there was more beneath the surface.

My curiosity demanded I play along.

So, I did.

"You'll let me. How kind?" I said, sarcasm my ever-present best friend. I pulled out my phone for some quick research.

"What're you doing?" He asked.

"Researching the best questions to ask strangers?" I said, scrolling down.

He laughed. "Okay."

"Here's a good one. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have to safely go back in for one item. What is it and why?" I asked.

He frowned. "I thought you'd ask something more personal, something about me."

I smiled. "This is about you. This tells me more about you than I would know by asking what your middle name is. Just answer. Honestly."

I didn't care so much for factual information. I didn't want to know about him, I wanted to know _him_. I wanted to know about his character. What made him tick? Was this the kind of person I wanted to do business with? Was this a person I wanted as my friend? Who was he behind the facade?

Because there was more to him than he was letting on. At least I hoped there was, if we were to go into business together.

And another incentive, hopefully he'd ask the same kinds of questions in return, and not ask about the factual details of my life, because right now, looking back—with the exception of Kelly—I'm not sure it would sound too good to anyone's ears.

"My middle name is Cory. See how simple that was." He smiled. A diversion tactic I was beginning to notice. Flash that dazzling smile and reroute the conversation.

Well, not this time, slick.

"Answer the question, Ryan Cory Shay." I ordered, happy for the tidbit of information I hadn't asked for.

He sighed, dropping his utensil to the plate. "A scarf."

"Pretty important scarf. Why?" I asked, leaning forward curiosity nipping at my feet.

"This is starting to feel like two questions." He groaned.

"It was part of the original question." I smiled. "But if it makes it easier, you can add a why part to my question."

He nodded slowly, taking a big gulp of his wine. "It was my dad's." He said, and I knew I'd just stepped in it.

A whole mountain of shit. Me and my big mouth.

I shook my head. "You don't have to—"

"It's okay, but just remember I didn't back out, so you can't either." He smiled. A real smile, not his practiced grin. It didn't quite reach his eyes; it spoke of reminiscing, longing. But it was a nice smile. A much better smile.

"My dad was an artist. He was amazing, but his choice art form wasn't exactly what one would call legal. He was a graffiti artist. He was into street art before it became widely accepted. He tried to give it up, but I don't think he ever could. He was careful though, wrapping his face up in scarves when he went out. He loved to show us his art after the fact. He and Raven shared that trait, their artistic ability. I got my affinity for numbers from my mom. They never excluded me or anything, but I was always a little jealous of the bond they shared through art, so I stole his scarves. I think he knew too so he'd just go out and get another. When we were fifteen, they died in a car crash."

"I'm so sorry." I grasped his hand across the table. I couldn't imagine losing my parents, or Kelly ever losing me.

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "It's okay. Um, anyway, so my dad had gone out a couple days before that, and I'd stolen his scarf immediately after like I always did. When CPS took us, it was one of the things I made sure I grabbed. It used to smell like him, but I wore it so much that it started to smell more like me than him." He shrugged. "I guess it's just a scarf now, but I keep it around."

"Wow." I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "That's beautiful." I squeezed his hand.

He glanced at me, quickly removing his hand from under mine, grabbing his utensils even though his plate was empty at this point.

He grinned that practiced grin. "I guess it's my turn now." He said.

I had to shake my head to adjust to his abrupt change in demeanour. That stupid smile, it just shut him down. It made him unreachable, unreadable. I suppose he knew it too. I suppose it was his weapon, and his shield.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I said uncertain.

"Let's see." He said, drumming his fingers against each other, smirking. I guess I deserved his mischievous intent, although I hadn't thought my question would open such a can of worms.

Luckily for me, my baby had stellar timing. Her little fists balled up and she rubbed them against her eyes before letting out a cry worthy of an opera singer.

"Oh, no, what happened, baby?" I asked, picking her up, and out of the stroller. "Bad dream?"

I paced back and forth, motioning to Ryan to get the bottle I kept in her baby bag.

"What?" He asked.

"The bottle." I said.

"Oh." He said quickly grabbing it, giving it to the waiter who was kind enough to ask if I wanted him to warm it up.

"Do you need anything else?" Ryan asked when I didn't sit back down.

"No, she just likes me to move when she's upset." I said walking back and forth beside our table, gently rocking her.

"Would it be better if you could walk around instead of just pacing?" He asked, a look that I could only describe as concerned curiosity all over his face.

"It would actually. She likes being outside, but I've got too much stuff right now to walk to the park."

We had chosen the location of our meeting for its easy accessibility. My apartment was a few blocks east, and there was a park I'd frequented the last time I'd lived here just a couple blocks further. No doubt with the way Kelly stared at the sky at the beach house, she would love staring up at the trees. But it wasn't an option. I'd wait for her to settle down a little before calling a car.

"Don't worry." He motioned to the waiter to bring our check, quickly paying as Kelly sucked greedily on her bottle. "I've got hands."

"No, that's really okay." I protested.

"It's fine." He said, but I remained firm.

He sighed, tilting his head at me.

"Will walking outside soothe her? Will me going with you make it easier for you to do what you need to do?" He asked.

Honestly, it would. He knew it would, but I didn't need his help. Or anybody's.

When I left Paris, I would need to learn to do all this without anyone else's help. To soothe her and gather up her stuff and find a way to do with two hands what I was used to doing with four. Liam wouldn't be at home anymore.

But I looked at him, and he was just being nice. He didn't know my baggage. He was just offering to push a stroller. And it was only my second day in Paris. I'd have eleven more to become a more independent and self-sufficient parent.

When I didn't answer, he took my silence as a yes.

"I just—"

"Thought I'd be annoyed?" He asked.

I mean, maybe. Most people would admit to finding another person's baby cute, but that usually stopped pretty quick when said baby was no longer peacefully sleeping.

He took my silence as an answer again.

"I've dealt with a tired baby before, Steffy." He said, peaking my interest as he placed the baby bag at the bottom of the stroller.

Grabbing the handles, he glanced at me. "You coming?"

Kelly decided she'd had enough of the bottle, shoving it away from her face which was already started to turn sour.

"Yeah." I said, grabbing her blanket.

"Good." He said once we'd fallen into step with each other. "I believe it's still my turn." He smiled.

The good one.

A/N: Thank you. The support on both my stories has been unreal. I love to write, and I appreciate all of you who enjoy my stories. You encourage me to keep going and try my hardest to improve, so thank you. I'm surprised I wrote another one so quickly, I guess when inspiration strikes, right? Anyway, a lot of readers are unsure about Ryan and honestly so is Steffy, so that's what this chapter is about; just Ryan and Steffy getting to know each other a little better, and Steffy possibly gaining a friend because I see such a lack of people that she can count on as friends in B&B (not family, not that family can't be friends, but an actual friend without all the expectations and history that she usually gets with the B&B gang).

Anyway, thank you and keep reviewing. Your feedback is appreciated and considered. Hopefully, I can write a story that we all really enjoy.

Until next time… :-)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

A/N: Before I get into this one, let me just say how proud I am of Steffy, and super-duper happy the writers are finally taking her character in a direction that I can get behind. I mean, did you see how strong, and decisive she was. She knows what's best for her and her daughter and as sad as it is for her, that's not Liam. The STEAM fan in me (which is like 30% at this point tbh) is a little sad for her, just because my competitive side doesn't like that it feels like she's conceding to Hope. But, literally screaming on my couch so happy watching her come into her own, make the tough choices and finally take her life into her own hands.

Probably why I haven't written anything all week, because I'm so happy with what the show is doing right now, but I'm trying and I'm back at it with another one…Enjoy. ;-)

We walked along the sidewalk, enjoying the quiet and the scenery. Kelly hadn't fallen back asleep, but her cries quieted to whimpers once her eyes caught on the sky. She was contently staring up at the clouds that passed by, alert in a way that made me hopeful that her sleeping schedule wouldn't be too messed up after one bad night.

To his credit, Ryan hadn't made a simple complaint, not even when we passed people on the sidewalk who apparently had never seen a crying baby before. He just kept walking and waited for her to calm.

And what a picture it made, him in his three-piece suit, high end business attire, pushing around her polka-dot, purple bugaboo. He seemed oblivious to the attention he was receiving, eyes questioning, observing, lingering.

He ignored them all, and when Kelly quieted, he turned to me.

"My question, should you choose to answer—"

"I didn't know that was an option." I said.

"It's not. I don't know why I said that. Forget I said that." He said.

I laughed. "Okay."

"My question, that you have to answer, is…if you had a bucket list, what would be number one on the list? And don't forget you owe me a why?"

"That's an interesting question." I said, thankful that he too hadn't gone for personal facts. "I don't have a bucket list. I've never been much for plans, most times they seem to bite me in the a-s-s. I much rather go with the flow, the best moments are sometimes just that, moments. I try not to spend my life dwelling on creating perfect moments. Instead, I try to recognize and enjoy them when them when they do happen."

He nodded, as we turned into the park entrance.

"That being said, most of the stuff that other people would put on their bucket lists, I've already done. I've skydived, and zip-lined, ridden motorcycles and traveled the world. I feel like I've done a lot of the fun, adventurous stuff that people usually put on bucket lists. If I were to have a bucket list, I think my number one would be something normal. I think it would be having a 50th anniversary. I haven't really had a lot of stable long-lasting relationships, and my examples are even worse than I am in that department. It's not something we really do in my family, but it would mean that I had loved somebody enough, and they had loved me just as much to put in the work and commitment it takes to last 50 years. It also means I'll die of old age, having watched this little nugget grow up and take on the world." I smiled down at Kelly.

"Can't argue with that." He said, parking the stroller next to a bench under that shade of an oak tree.

"It probably makes me sound like a sap. An incurable romantic."

And these days, I couldn't be further from it.

He shook his head. "Not really. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being a romantic."

"Really?" I asked.

"Is that your question for this turn?" He asked on a side glance, before turning his gaze back to the little pond and bridge.

"Yeah. What do you think about all that love stuff?" I asked, intrigued from what I'd heard in contrast to how he was.

"All that love stuff? Interesting phrasing." He chuckled.

"Just answer." I said, tempted to shoulder bump him but precious cargo.

"It's complicated." He sighed. "I know what you've heard. I know what all the tabloids and magazines say. I have been a little uncommitted."

I nodded.

"But when I do get serious I want it to be—okay, so my parents eloped out of high school and were married for 22 years until they died. And if they hadn't I think they would be that couple who made it to 50, 60 years. When Raven and I were kids, they would tell us the story of how they fell in love every night. My mom, she was from a wealthy family, going to an all-girl private school that had really tall brick walls that my dad just had paint on."

He smiled.

"Had to, that was an important part of the story. He always made sure he got that bit in. Anyway, he wasn't as stealthy then as he would become, so he had a juvie record.

He and my mom would run into each other sometimes. Eventually, she began helping him escape from her headmistress, and they became fast friends, and fell in love. My mom's parents were not happy, and forbid them to see each other, but they did in secret. When a choice had to be made, she chose him, and they ran away together and got married. Of course, her parents cut her off and they had to make it, struggling, but just the way they told it. It was like, if you weren't ready to abandon everything to be with the person you love, then it wasn't a love worth having." He shrugged. "I guess when you always have that image in your mind, you're always searching for that feeling."

I sniffed to his alarm. I quickly shrugged it off as hormones, but it was sad to think of people experiencing that kind of love only to lose their lives so soon, and here I was with Liam, struggling in a tug of war with him, when I wasn't sure I'd ever felt this way.

And boy the difference a healthy relationship makes. My father's back and forth with my mom and Brooke, my granddad's other marriages and his rocky relationship with my grandma, I'd never witnessed a love like that. My only examples were indecision and indiscretions. It saddened me, but it made me certain that I was doing the right thing for Kelly by leaving Liam. If in twenty years, she said to me that she wanted a love like I had with… whomever, I would know that I had broken the cycle and shown her what a healthy relationship looks like.

"That's really beautiful." I said.

"Yeah." He smiled. "And that's just the cliff notes version."

I paused mid-smile, my mind catching on something he had said earlier. "Could I ask a follow up question?"

I was breaking the rules, but curiosity ate away at me.

He squinted at me. "I'm pretty sure it's my turn, and I need a good one, since you keep making me bear my soul and all."

"Please." I pleaded. "I didn't even ask why this time."

He groaned. Clearly, I was torturing him with my interrogation.

"Fine."

"Who did you live with? After your parents?"

"My grandparents." He said. "My mom's parents."

My brows rose in shock "Really? That's interesting." I was tempted to ask more but he'd already given me a pass on the rules once.

"Ask." He sighed. "But I get to ask three questions in a row when it's my turn. Deal?"

His stare unflinching, I nodded eagerly.

"Your grandparents, just from what you told me, don't seem like a lot of fun."

"That's not a question."

"I mean, what was it like, living with them?" I asked.

"They weren't that bad. A bit rigid, and cold with us. Not so much with each other. They've been married coming up on 60 years together. They've seen and done their worst together, so I guess that's why. Raven and I weren't too open with them either, so it could have been us, but we hadn't known them for fifteen years. They gave us our space and our freedom, and when we turned eighteen, they gave us our mother's trust fund. I think maybe they felt sad about never having fixed things with her."

He said it all very factual. Point one, two, three, four, and five; laid it out like bullet points. If anything was clear to me in that moment; the emotional shut down, the suave grins, the facade. Courtesy of the Gramps.

"Sorry." I said.

More like sorry for asking, but his life was so beautiful for half, and then less so for a while and it intrigued me how his mannerisms and attitudes were shaped by it.

Earlier, he said he'd be more inclined to do business with a friend, and I felt like we were becoming something.

More than strangers, for sure.

But the more we spoke, the more a partnership with the Raven Model, was something I was interested in making happen.

"It's alright." He said. "It is what it is."

Then he smirked, a rather devilish grin and said, "Prepare yourself, Steffy. Payback times three. Be ready to be really honest."

And I knew my curiosity had left me more vulnerable than I'd left him.

A/N: Knocked this out in like an hour, at 2;00 AM. Hopefully, it's good. Just thought I'd post something to keep up with regular updates as promised. I wanted to touch on parent child relationships and the impact they leave just because they have in the show. I really like that they're making a point, with Steffy at the head, and showing that what we show children is what they'll accept as normal. They always did, sort of. Steffy always said she didn't want to end up like Taylor, but somehow, she always got caught up in the same toxic triangle with Hope and Liam, just like Taylor and Brooke. I'm really glad that Steffy made the decision to end that cycle.

I feel like this fan fiction is going to be super long unless I time-skip it, because we're still on day two in Paris. I'll try to move it along. Anyway, sorry for the rants, I always do them. It's kind of like a warm up and a calm down for me at this point, but anyway

Until next time…;-)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A/N: Back at it again with another update…Enjoy! Warning Time Jumping ahead, lol. And Steffy answers in italics

Surprisingly, Ryan took it easy on me. His three questions involved very little soul bearing on my part. The first two, piece of cake.

Who would you say is your closest relative?

 _Honestly, it used to be my mom, but now my dad._

What was your favourite cartoon as a kid?

 _Teenage mutant ninja turtles._

The last one, though.

Why did you decide to come to Paris for this meeting? Surely, you could have conference called or sent someone else?

 _I needed to get away. I've been in a kind of broken relationship with Kelly's dad for a really long time; infidelity, betrayal, lies, hurt, breaking up, other marriages, other divorces, remarriages. You name it, and we've done it. You probably know, I'm sure you've seen it on some tabloid._

I don't typically pay attention to that stuff.

 _Well believe me, we were drama worthy of every trash magazine there is. When we were good, we were pretty perfect for each other. At least, I thought so. But I couldn't deal with everything else. When I look at it, all the bad it equals, sometimes overwhelms the good, and I didn't want Kelly to look back at her childhood and see mostly bad. I didn't want her to look at love as something that is…fickle._

I'm sorry.

 _Don't be. Either way, I came here to escape, and this possible partnership was a good excuse._

The tension after that question was thick, to say the least.

Of all the overly personal things I had asked, this one seemed to loom over us because as I told him the truth about my reasons for needing escape, it was as if I were reciting a fact— my age, my eye colour, my height—and it was as if he could sense it.

I didn't know what was worse, feeling pain when I thought about it, or feeling nothing at all.

He had his driver pick us up from the park, and walked us up to my apartment, and as I closed the door, it was clear to me that Ryan was going to be my friend.

A very good friend.

He was easy to talk to. My secrets seem to pour out around him.

My phone vibrated with a text.

 **I'll see you around, Steffy Forrester**

 **You bet, Ryan Shay.**

And I did.

We stole lunches, breakfast, and whatever time we could together when our schedules allowed.

It was great to talk to someone without any preconceived notions of what I need to make me happy. And by the time my second week in Paris rolled around, he promised to take me to see his dad's sites around Paris.

At the sound of the knock on my door, I pulled it open smiling wider than I would have thought was possible a week ago. That excitement turned to a shock that I couldn't keep off my face.

"Liam." I said.

"Expecting somebody else?" He said, smiling that self-deprecating smile of his.

"Just about anybody." I mumbled, stepping back to let him in. "What are you doing in Paris?"

He wasn't listening. He had already taken Kelly off of her blanket where she was on her tummy on the floor and was taking inventory.

"Look how big you've gotten." He whispered. "Daddy missed you."

She made a sound that sounded a lot like a squawk. She'd been doing it a lot lately. It seemed to be her new thing.

He took it to mean, I missed you too, daddy.

"I know." He said, hugging her close.

"How did you?" I started to ask, scared of where it may lead. I didn't want to bring up anything Bill Spencer related, but he didn't have access to the Spencer jet anymore.

"Your dad lent me the Forrester jet when I told him how much I missed you." He said, staring at me with those soft brown, sad eyes.

"Of course, he did." I said. My dad and I definitely needing to have a talk about his meddling, especially meddling that costs jet fuel.

I watched as he familiarized himself with my once home, before taking a seat on the couch, placing Kelly on his lap, her hands wrapped around his fingers.

"How long are you here for?" I asked, taking a seat beside him. My question more like twenty than one.

Surely, Hope had gone to him the minute she'd learned I had left for Paris, whispering promises and sweet nothings in his ear that he most likely fell for. At least that's what happened the last time I'd left for Paris for a while. Hopefully, this time they didn't make out on my bed.

What my question truly asked was…

How long did you wait?

How is Hope?

Are you two together now?

When's the wedding?

Does she know you're here?

How long is she letting you stay?

I guess I should get used to asking those last two. I knew it was more than a possibility that he'd turn to Hope when I let him go, and to be honest I'm not upset, just hopeful that he took some time to recognize what we had, and grieve what he lost, before jumping into an engagement with Hope.

"Hope has a doctor's appointment on Thursday, so I'll leave Tuesday night." He said.

"Everything's okay though, right?" I asked.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Everything's fine. Just a regular ultrasound."

I nodded.

I wasn't sure if that answered all my questions, so I was blunt.

"When's the wedding?" I asked.

"There's no wedding." He said flatly.

"But she wants one." I said.

He scowled.

"I didn't come here to fight, Steffy." He said.

"I'm not trying to fight you. We both know she wants you. She's made it no secret, and you've never lied about your feelings for her. Don't hold back on my account." I gave him a small smile, and it wasn't fake.

I'd been able to block him out with good company and worthwhile distractions. His calls became less grating, and I was becoming less bitter about everything.

But seeing him was a shock to my system. My nerves were shot.

I missed him.

A lot.

But my pain and anger were more at myself, because when I closed my eyes I could still see myself, crying on my couch, begging on my knees for him to forgive me, to stay.

I could still remember the fear and uncertainty I felt before I'd ask him to my ultrasound, afraid he'd say no, or just not show.

And I cannot believe for a second that I did that. That's what it came to for us, in the end. And each time he walked away, a little piece of me stopped wondering, stopped caring if he came back.

Did I want him back? No.

Did it annoy me that I had to plead with him to show up to an ultrasound, to do something for me that he would so willingly do for Hope? Yeah.

But them getting married is not the worst thing I can picture anymore.

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that." He sighed.

"I'm not saying it to be mean. I'm just trying to be honest. Be with her if that's what you want. Don't be. That's your decision." I shrugged.

"What if my decision is to be with you?" He asked, glancing at me.

I shook my head. "That's not a decision you get to make anymore."

Silence descended over us.

It was too loud.

I broke it.

"My mom's going to be happy to see you." I said. "She's been having a ball with Kelly. She's never been more spoiled."

"I'm surprised. Ridge hasn't been too pleased with me."

"I'll talk to him." Was all I said.

"I didn't lie you know." He said, tugging on the end of my braid. "I miss you, wild girl."

"I know."

We fell into each other's gazes. There was something about us that always seemed inevitable, we were drawn to each other, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I reminded me of when things were good, but I needed to put the brakes on this thing, before we did something stupid.

I cleared my throat blinking the stars out of my eyes and busying myself with grabbing a glass of water as Liam returned his gaze to Kelly, who was kicking in his lap.

She wasn't one for being ignored.

Another knock at the door, jolted me back; reminding me of my plans and an introduction I was not ready to make.

Ryan stood at my door in a t-shirt, jeans and all his glory.

A smirk that promised this was going to be interesting.

"You ready?" He smiled, an excitement that I had previously shared written in his grin.

"Sort of." I cringed. "Come in."

Their stares met and held, green crashing into brown, neither flinching or looking away, neither one wanted to break the hold, declare defeat.

"Liam, this is Ryan. He's the CEO of the fashion house I told you about." I glanced at him, his stance in defense of me from what little he knew. "And friend."

"Ryan, Liam…" I searched for a proper title. Not fiancé, not husband, not boyfriend. "Kelly's dad."

Liam glanced at me like I'd slapped him, but false hope was worse than any pain. I would know.

"Nice to meet you." Liam said, dismissing him, focusing on Kelly instead.

"Likewise." Ryan turned to me. "I guess there's been a change of plans." He smiled.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I touched his elbow, trying to convey my apology. I was excited. "I imagine it's not something you give a lot of people the chance to see. You probably don't just share it with anyone, so rain check. Later this week."

He nodded. "Of course."

I smiled. "I really was excited."

"I get it. Plans change." He smiled. "Plus, I don't doubt that you wanted to see it. I'm doing you a favour. It's not every day you get to tour Paris with me and see original Peter Shay works."

"Of course." I laughed. "I don't take it for granted. I promise."

"Were you going somewhere? A work meeting?" Liam interrupted.

"No, just some sightseeing. Nothing we can't do later." Ryan said.

Liam's jaw ticked.

"I'd hate to ruin your plans." Liam said through tight lips. "Why don't we get lunch? All three of us."

I shook my head. "No—"

"Sure." Ryan agreed.

"Great." Liam rose, Kelly's head on his shoulder. "I love meeting Steffy's friends."

And to think I woke this morning, excited about the day ahead.

Note to self.

Don't make plans.

False advertising.

That's all they are.

A/N: Here's the thing, personally I don't think Liam is worth all the drama he seems to be creating with Steffy and Hope. I don't think he warrants having two beautiful women fight over him. They're kind of out of his league. I always thought Steffy was too beautiful, independent, and smart to be stuck as one option in the most unrealistic triangle of life. It makes no sense to me that besides Wyatt, she really hasn't had any other people interested in her and wanted to pull her out of the triangle and give her everything Liam won't. (I don't count Bill) I want to say it's probably the show runners/writers not wanting to create a new character and everything that goes into the creation of a whole new backstory for a character, but come on, they cooked up Xander, Zoe, and Emma pretty quick.

All I'm saying is Steffy is the kind of character that if she were in a triangle, she would be the one being fought for. Am I right or am I right?

Anyway, little bit of a jealous Liam, misinterpreting their friendship which is all it is for now. (Whispers: with the potential for more. Leaves it there. Walks away.)

Until next time… :-)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry guys, trying to get ready for school and everything and things just got in the way. But here I am, back at it again with another chapter, kind of a filler, sorry… Enjoy!

As if lunch wasn't already going to be awkward enough, Ryan invited Raven.

And I loved her, I really did.

We'd met a couple times since I'd been in Paris and she was just as wild as somebody I used to know.

She also didn't have much of a filter.

So, bringing her in on a tense situation was a disaster waiting to happen, which Ryan definitely knew, so what was he up to?

And mom insisted on keeping Kelly, so the adults could hang out, which meant I couldn't rely on her spectacular timing, or cuteness as a distraction.

"God, this is awkward." She blurted out, within ten minutes of silence. We had opted to to ignore each other and stare at our menus, but she wasn't much for avoidance.

"So," She clasped her hands on the table in front of her. "What's your deal?"

"My deal?" I asked.

"No, _your_ deal." She gestured between me and Liam. "Together."

"It's complicated." Liam said.

"We're not together." I said at the same time.

"Really?" She tilted her head. "Because your auras are like this beautiful tangle of pinks and reds." She shrugged. "Strange."

Silence descended over us again, and Ryan leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Her eyes widened for a millisecond before she masked it.

"Sorry, I'm being really intrusive. I can't help it sometimes. There's just a lot going on—" She gestured all around us, "there."

"It's okay." Liam said. "So, have you made a decision about partnering up with us at Forrester?"

"I wasn't aware you worked there." He said.

"Yeah, just some tech and consulting for the Hope for the Future line."

Ryan nodded. "We have actually made a decision. I was going to tell you later tonight, but if you accept our terms then we're in."

"Really?" I smiled. "That's amazing."

He didn't return my excitement. He was being oddly stoic.

"And the best part," Raven grinned. "I need inspiration for my new line. Usually I need a change of scenery to get really fired up, so me and Ryan and going to come to LA for a bit. Isn't that great?"

My gaze snapped to Ryan's, he nodded.

"That's great." I clapped. "I could show you around Forrester and my favourite spots in LA."

I glanced at Liam. "We could take them surfing, we'll I might be a little rusty, so I might just hang out on the beach, and you guys can surf. It'll be so much fun."

I said, grasping Liam and Raven's arms, but staring at Ryan. He didn't seem as excited as me, Liam shared a similar expression.

"It sounds perfect." Liam muttered.

"Yeah," Ryan echoed. "Perfect.

A/N: Just going to leave this incredibly short chapter here and walk away.

I promise next time will be longer and not as filler-y, just thought I'd post something. Also, Phoebe from friends really inspired Raven and her for lack of better word hippie-ness. I feel like having a friend like that would be super interesting. Hopefully, I do it right.

Until next time … :-)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N: So, feeling a little guilty about that barely there chapter from yesterday, I'm back at it again with another one. Inspiration struck I guess. Enjoy!

"Is there something going on between you and Ryan?"

It was the first thing he had said to me since we left Raven and Ryan back at the restaurant.

He was completely silent on the drive back and now he couldn't even wait until I closed the door to say something.

"Excuse me?" I asked, taken aback.

"Is there something going on between you two?" He asked again.

Apparently, the shock and disbelief written all over my face wasn't enough to let him know to back off.

I closed the door, slowly, taking a deep breath to tamper down my anger.

 _He_ was jealous. If that wasn't just freaking _comedic._

Hadn't I been the one our entire relationship, who sat and smiled, and tried to be understanding while he flitted back and forth between me and Hope.

Hadn't I always made excuses and gave him allowances for his behaviour? And at the first sight, that there might be something happening for me, something that I didn't have to share with anybody else, he had the nerve to act wronged?

Platonic or not.

Friendship or more.

Whatever it was that I had going on with Ryan was none of his business.

"You don't get to ask me that anymore." I said, glaring at him.

"I think I do."

"Do you keep tabs on all your exes or am I just so lucky?" I tilted my head, the sarcasm evident in my tone.

He clenched his jaw. "I was always upfront with both you and Hope."

"Oh." I clapped. "Because that makes it so much better."

He glanced away. I'd hit a nerve.

"Listen," I sighed. "I don't want to fight, so let's just try to stay out of each other's personal lives, yeah?"

He didn't take the olive branch.

"I just want to know if he's going to be in Kelly's life. If this thing with you goes somewhere he could possibly be her stepfather."

I don't know why I let him assume these things. I wanted to see how it would play out when the shoe was on the other foot.

But marriage?

"Not everyone jumps headfirst into marriage, Liam." I said.

He scowled.

"I don't know what you're thinking, but if and when the time ever comes that I get married again, I expected you to be as good to him as I have tried to be with Hope. But for right now, Kelly doesn't have a step-father any more than she has a step-mother. But I expect that to change sometime and I've prepared myself for it. Maybe you should too."

His scowl deepened, but his eyes were sad.

"For the record, Kelly doesn't have a stepmother yet. In case you were wondering." He muttered.

It was what Hope wanted, though.

So, it wouldn't be long before she did.

"Okay." I shrugged, sighing. "Listen Liam, I was serious about what I said at dinner. I want us to get to a place where we're friendly enough to share friends, hang out, go surfing and do a bunch of silly stuff together. And we're not going to get there if you act jealous and upset every time I meet someone new. It just won't work."

He ran his hands down his face. "I know."

"Okay." I smiled. "I'm going to check in on my mom. You can have the guest room, unless you booked a hotel."

"Thanks, I'll take the guest room." He said, and as I began to walk to my room he caught my hand. "I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'll do better. It's just—"

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't realize how hard it must have been for you, watching me and Hope. I'm getting it for the first time, and just thank you. For not hating me." He finished.

"I could never hate you, Liam." I said.

He kissed my cheek before retreated to the second bedroom and I walked into mine.

Mom was perched on my bed, Kelly asleep on a blanket beside her, baby monitor in hand.

"Spying much." I said, quietly to not wake Kelly.

"Just a mother's curiosity. I want to know what's going on and you don't tell me enough." She shrugged.

"I tell you everything." I said.

"Not how you feel, not all the tension I just heard." She smiled. "You've always been my strong, tough girl, but your still my baby. I want you to be happy, and what I just overheard. You guys sound miserable."

I shrugged.

"Well, we are for now. But it will get better."

"FYI, I was wondering the same thing about you and Ryan."

"Why?" I asked.

It didn't make sense to me. Ryan could be a flirt, but he had been respectful, and toned down the flirting. We just had fun together. That was it.

"I don't know. It's just different." She rose from the bed carefully, before taking a seat beside me on the ottoman. "It's been a long time since I've seen you have this kind of fun, maybe since you were a teenager."

"Yeah, he is fun Mom. And I like having fun. It's nice for a change."

She sighed, brushing my hair.

"I know, but I can see why Liam is upset. It must be hard seeing you smile and have fun and knowing that he's not the one who put that smile on your face."

I shrugged. It couldn't be helped.

Eventually, we would get to a place where he could make me smile like that again, but for now…

everything was too fresh for that level of friendship.

"He used to." I said, smiling softly. "He used to always be able to make me smile like that, but eventually all the fun we had together wasn't enough, and that smile would fade."

"He could do that for you again, you know?" She said. "If you gave him a chance."

I laughed.

Mom had always been on team Liam. She thought he was the only one who could make me happy.

But now, Kelly made me happy.

And I made myself happy.

My friends—Ryan, Raven—my family—Thomas, Mom, Dad, and Granddad—they made me smile.

And that was enough.

But I needed to deter her from trying anything. I wouldn't put it past her to try to say something to Liam. To make a plea for him to fight for me or make some huge gesture that I wasn't sure I wanted.

"I'll always be grateful for the memories I have with Liam. And for Kelly, and she will always know that she came from a love that so intense it rivalled nature. I will tell her all the stories of us, and make sure she knows that, because for a long time I didn't." I sighed. "I knew he loved me, and I loved him, and when we were wrapped up in our bubble, it was beautiful. But he always loved Hope too. He claimed to love us both equally, to be _in_ _love_ with us both and I always wondered, if Hope and I had equal parts of his heart, how much did we even really have?

If his heart was split in two, how much could he even love either of us?"

Mom stopped brushing my hair, frowning hard.

And it dawned on me.

"I'm sorry." I rushed out. "I didn't think about you and dad. I don't think that about what you had with dad."

She shrugged. "It's okay. Don't apologize. You're a smart girl, always have been. My brilliant daughter. There's a lot of truth to what you're saying." She sighed. "I just don't want you to feel like your big love is in the past."

I shook my head, hugging her.

"I don't. When I meet my big love, all of his heart is going to be mine. And yours will be too. We just need to stay open to the possibilities."

"Trust me, I know. I've had many loves after Ridge, and their heart was completely mine. I stayed open to the possibilities, but it didn't matter much because my heart was completely your father's."

I knew she meant well.

And if I were to take advice from anyone, it would be her.

She had been in my exact position.

But I refused to believe that my heart would always belong to Liam.

I was taking it back.

And when I was ready, I would give it to someone else.

And I would give it all, my whole heart.

And he would give me his.

And there would be no sharing involved.

A/N: I hope you liked it, and it made up for yesterday's little snippet. Today's episode just pissed me off a little and lit a fire under my butt to get back to writing. I didn't like that Taylor pleaded with Liam for Steffy, because she said she was done, and she is. I understand she just wants Steffy to be happy, but here's what I want. I want Liam to make the decision all by himself that Steffy is the one he wants, and then I want him to have to beg on his hands and knees to get her back.

It also pissed me off that Steffy had to watch that stupid dopey look on Liam's face when Hope walked down the stairs. I know she could have said no to the invite, but I hate that the writers always force her to watch that crap. So, I did a little reversal of how Liam would feel if he were forced to watch her move on (and I still held back because he hasn't seen anything but friendship).

Steffy looked beautiful as always and she was so gracious. She deserves better than Liam, and I'm kind of watching Carter like… maybe. I don't know. I read that somewhere, but I'd be happy with Carter or maybe one of the models, as long as it's not another triangle or at least a triangle where Steffy needs to make the choice. I mean, we've all seen how good she is at that.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. As always review, let me know what you think and I'll try to update again soon.

Until next time… :-)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A/N: To the readers, thank you so much for reading. The response for this story has been amazing. It makes me want to be a better planner, so that I could be prepared and post more frequently. But alas, I am a procrastinator, and planning simply isn't in my genes. Seriously though, my writing process is kind of jacked. There is literally almost zero planning and what I do is I try to read the previous chapter, get back into the headspace, and just go with whatever flows out. Sometimes the inspiration strikes and it's an amazing, long, beautiful chapter that I'm proud to post, and sometimes I have to scrap the whole thing and start over. So, this is not only a thank you for appreciating my story but also a thank you so much for bearing with my erratic posts and hanging in there when I go AWOL.

Anyway, back at it again with another one. Enjoy!

Liam's POV

Steffy couldn't wait to be out of the apartment and away from me.

It was a rain check with Ryan.

And I'd given her the perfect excuse to go.

I'd told her I wanted to spend the day with Kelly. She took it to mean I wanted to spend time with Kelly alone, but I wanted to be with her too. I wanted to spend time together as a family. But I didn't correct her, because she would feel compelled to stay and it would be awkward, tense, and then it would all get very sad.

So, she was off with Ryan, and even though the thought made my blood boil, she'd made it perfectly clear that it wasn't my place anymore.

And the time I spent with Kelly was perfect. There was no better way to spend time and avoid thinking about Steffy.

She squawked, and pumped her fists, and kicked her legs. She ate, and rubbed at her eyes, and then stuck her fist in her mouth and fell asleep, like a perfect little angel.

And then, I was left alone, with all my thoughts, which basically amounted to a ton of self-hatred and confusion over how I got myself into this situation.

"Hi, Liam." Taylor said upon entering the apartment.

"Uh, hey, Taylor." I said. "Um, Steffy's not here, but you don't have to watch Kelly today. We're having a daddy daughter day."

She smiled. "That's great, Liam."

"Yeah." I smiled. "She just went down for her nap."

"Good. Then you and I can talk." She took a seat on the couch patting the spot beside her.

I hesitated.

"Don't worry, Liam. I don't bite."

I wasn't so sure. But I took a seat anyway.

"So…" I started. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Steffy."

I sighed, deciding to the jump the gun before the inevitable verbal beatdown I was about to get. "I love your daughter. Always have, always will. And I let stuff get in the way, and I haven't always been the best person for her, but I care about her more than you will ever know, or I will ever be able to express. What's happening with us now wasn't my choice, but I can't say that it wasn't my fault and for that I'm sorry—"

"Liam, you can calm down that's not what this is." She laughed. "But I must say it is kind of adorable watching you struggle."

I choked on a laugh.

"Steffy's a strong girl. She's brilliant and independent and sometimes she's damn near impermeable. She's made her choice and I believe she wants to stick to it."

"Yeah." I stared down at my hands. "I know."

"I think it's a form of self-preservation, if that helps." I caught her gaze once again. "There's never been any doubt about Steffy's strength and around you, I think she learned to lean on someone and she let herself be vulnerable. If you ask her she'd say she was weak. But that's just her hindsight and her anger. I didn't set a very good example for her growing up. All the drama with Ridge and Brooke, she saw that first hand, and she's going to do anything to protect Kelly from that and protect herself from going through any of that again, whether it's with you, or anyone else."

"I don't understand why you're telling me this." I said. If she was trying to make me feel better, she was doing a shit job, but then again, she wasn't here for me.

"I appreciate that you want to respect her decision, but I can see it's making you miserable. And Steffy may put on a brave face, but this is hard on her too. I'm not going to tell you who to love, or how to decide. But if you truly love my daughter, and I think you do, don't push her until you're sure that you want to be with her and only her. Make your choice, and stick to it, and if it's Steffy, then great. Fight for her. It's going to be one hell of a fight because she's not going to let you in too easily, history and all. But if you can't decide and be happy with your decision, then respect hers. Let her go."

"I really don't think I can." I whispered.

"Then you have some things to figure out, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to go before Steffy gets back. She doesn't know I did this."

Yeah, Steffy was stubborn once her mind was made up, and right now she doesn't want to be told what to feel or what to do. Especially about us.

"Hey, Liam." Taylor called over her shoulder as she stood in the doorway. "You guys used to be each other's best friends. If nothing else, remember that."

She advised closing the door.

She had been my best friend. I was in love with her and we had a baby together. But she was stubborn and had made up her mind, and that was almost impossible to change. Especially with all the history she had fueling her choices.

But I didn't want to live without her and living in this limbo wasn't any better.

And then there was Hope. She was pregnant with my child, and she loved me. She wanted to be with me. It would be easy with her.

I didn't want to hurt either one of them any more than I already had.

And just like it always did, my decision making came to a stalemate.

How could I choose my own happiness when I would rob someone of theirs?

A/N: Thought I'd switch it up for a hot minute and give you a little of Liam's POV. Tried to make it as true to him as I could and, well, Taylor is being Taylor. She listened in her and Steffy's little chat, but she does always think she knows what's best for Steffy and does whatever she thinks will make her happiest. But like I said this fanfic is Steffy-centric, so you can probably expect Liam's POV to be once every 8 chapters or so. I promise to be back at it again soon with another chapter but bear with me guys. I'm going to try to post frequently this next week, because September's around the corner and that means school is in session. I don't know how much I'll be able to post, but I'll try to keep up with the weekly updates.

Anyway, until next time… :-)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N: Back at it again with another chapter…Enjoy! Also, just a shout out at the hair stylist. Steffy's hair recently has been killing it. Am I right or am I right?

If there was a place I would go when I needed to escape the drama, the conflict, and just the stress that had become my life, it would be here.

Not just Paris, but Paris painted over by Peter Shay.

There was something indescribable about the gentle brush strokes against the grit and brick of the buildings that was so easy to get lost in. Amongst the skulls, huge dynamic graffiti writing, and sharp contrast, there was a single standout.

An elegant woman clouded in light with a familiar curve of her nose and bottomless brown eyes that you couldn't help but fall into. It felt safe and sheltered under her gaze.

I understood why he'd saved this one for last.

It was easy to see why this one was his favourite.

"Earth to Steffy." He tapped my temple.

"Yeah. Sorry." I blinked my way back to reality. "What were you saying?"

He grinned. "Nothing just thought I'd wake you up. You've been dreaming a long time."

"Yeah." I smiled. "She's really beautiful. You look a lot like her, same nose, same ears."

He glanced at the her, before touching his ears and frowned.

"Are you saying I have tiny ears?" He covered them.

"No." I laughed, pulling his hands down. "Your ears are fine. The perfect size, and if you're still worried, better small than big right?"

He laughed.

"I guess." He chuckled.

"It's a pretty cool place to be." I said.

"Yeah, it is. I didn't used to, but now I come here all the time." He murmured.

"Why didn't you?" I asked. "Used to come here?"

Because as it is right now, it was a beautiful place to be. Serene, but also kind of edgy.

"At first, I'd go everywhere else, to all his other sites except this one. I didn't really want to see her and as time passed, I started to move on with my life. I used to always wake up and my first thought would be about my mom and dad, and eventually and only for a second, I'd forget that it wasn't always just me and Raven, and I felt so guilty that I came here. I've been coming here since."

I wrapped my arm around his elbow, he smiled down at me.

"Last stop on the tour." I said. "We should stick around for a bit."

I pulled him down to sit against the opposite building.

"You know I'm going to miss it here. It's all just so…refreshing." I sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I love LA, but there's just so much less drama here."

He stared down at me. I could feel it even as I played with the dandelion growing from the crack in the base of the building.

"Why do I get the feeling this is more than your letting on?" He frowned. "It can't just be about Liam."

I shrugged.

"You want to know how I know?"

"Sure."

"When you talk about Liam, it's a little sad, nostalgic almost. But you don't get anywhere as tense as you do when you talk about going home. Your shoulders are so high, they're almost up to your ears."

"Yeah, there's just a little more to the whole situation than you know. But hey," I snorted. "You'll get to see it first hand and believe me. There's no better way to see it than front row."

"Okay." He said hesitantly, dragging out the word. "When I'm there I'll definitely take you up on the offer to go surfing."

"Even if Liam has to go with you instead of me? I haven't been surfing in a while."

He shrugged.

"I know it wasn't the best first meeting, but—" He trailed off before shaking his head. "Actually, no but, that's it."

"Yeah." I cringed. "He really doesn't like you."

"Wonder why?" The sarcasm rolled off him. "Could it be that you broke up with him, flew away to Paris and introduced him to your new friend, who just happens to be and look like… well, me?"

He expected the punch that hit his shoulder, a cheeky grin a permanent fixture on his face.

"Ego."

"He still has feelings for you, so I'll let the jealous bravado go." He shrugged.

"Well, I didn't. He'll be nice to you. I promise. "

He shrugged. It didn't seem to matter to him whether Liam was nice or not.

"I wouldn't be nice if I were him. But I am intrigued by all this drama you speak of. I want to see what your like in your environment. Plus, with me, and Raven, hanging around Forrester, it should made for an interesting work day, don't you think?"

Yeah, I bet.

A/N: Anyway, just wanted to post something. It's incredibly short, don't hate me. It's more of a transitioning chapter than anything else, before everybody heads back to LA, and there's everybody else to deal with. Hopefully the show finds a way to really piss me off and light a fire under my butt, because this kind of droll, happy go lucky family trio with Steffy, Liam and Hope, and all that custody stuff with Thorne and Bill has been a major snooze fest, for me at least. Well, besides Steffy being hair goals and just her general being the bigger person, everything else is pretty dull. Hopefully, it switches up soon.

Anyway, until next time… ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A/N: So, those of you who have been with me since the beginning know that when I posted the first chapter things were just starting to change in B&B. Liam was with Steffy and they just found out Hope was pregnant and then everything else followed; the fashion show, Liam's and Hope's little tryst and Steffy's decision to tell them to go get married. I had said that this story wouldn't follow the show storyline, but for where this story is headed a lot of that needs to be included, so expect just my take on everything that's happened in the last kind of month and a half.

Anyway, back at it again with another one, courtesy of the long break between my two lectures…Enjoy!

Steffy's POV

Coming back to California, I tried not to be too pessimistic.

Sure, I was leaving Paris behind, and all the serenity it created for me. And sure, I was going to be surrounded by people who either really loved me, loved me and had hurt me, or really hated me and wanted to see me suffer, every day.

But still, I tried not to let that get me down, because this time, I was bringing along a confidant and his sister, who was just crazy enough to get into a fist fight for me.

Even with my support system, I wasn't going to directly put myself in the path of anyone who wasn't too happy with me.

That meant Brooke, Hope, sometimes Katie, and I didn't really know where me and Liam were in our limbo, so him too.

It was not at all easy considering I was co-CEO and the HFTF fashion show had just wrapped, so there was a lot going on and a lot of people running around.

I decided to skip out on the fanfare and celebration, instead taking Ryan and Raven on a tour of Forrester Creations.

"It's a little stuffier than what I'm used to." Raven tried to mutter under her breath, but she only had one volume, and it wasn't exactly stealth.

"Yeah." I laughed. "Courtesy of it being designed for my grandparents at the start of all this."

We turned down the corridor. "So, this is where the intern's 'office' space is, but you can usually find them anywhere but this area."

I led them through to the basement runway. "And this is where we usually have our practice run throughs and show chases before our fashion shows."

We turned into the room behind, and Raven's resounding gasp pulled my attention to what had drawn hers. Liam and Hope were entangled in each other, her legs wrapped around his hips. Her skirt riding up against her hips. I didn't know how to feel.

Ryan gripped my fingers in his, keeping me grounded in the moment.

But I don't think it was necessary. I was still waiting for my reaction. It wasn't shock like Raven. My head felt hot, and I thought maybe I was crying, but my face felt dry.

My heart didn't sink with disappointment or pain, or even just frustration.

The only really sad part to me was that I felt nothing.

I cleared my throat, drawing their attention. Apparently, they'd been too wrapped up in each other to hear Raven's gasp.

"This is a place of business. I'd appreciate it if you conducted yourself as such." I said, turning to Ryan and Raven. "This is the prep room, which as you can see is clearly more multi-purpose than it would seem. Next, I'll show you the rooftop deck. It's pretty cool. It has a gym, and a juice bar."

Four pairs of eyes were glued to me. Raven was smirking, and it took everything in me not to return her smile. The pride in her eyes mirrored mine, because I could handle this with indifference. At least, I hope it came out indifferent and a little rude.

Anger flashed in Ryan's eyes. He looked ready to fight my battles for me, and if his balled fist was any indication, he was going to fight said battle on Liam's face. Thankfully, I held his hand in a firm grip, ready to pull him back at a moment's notice.

Hope and Liam, ever the self-righteous and preachy looked caught. Remorse and guilt written all over their features. Surely, a long apology would follow about how sorry they were. About how they got caught up in the moment and each other, and they were just acting on their feelings. Their intent wasn't to hurt anyone. You know, the usual script.

I rolled my eyes. "C'mon guys." I pulled them to the door, but not before Raven said. "Nice to meet you. And sweetheart, you might want to pull down your skirt. I'm not sure I know you well enough to be seeing so much of you."

She grinned running ahead of me as I swatted at her, unable to contain my laughter before we got to the elevator.

We died the entire ride up to the roof, and I mean wheezed.

I couldn't breathe.

Even Ryan manage a chuckle at our antics, before he became serious once again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I squeezed his hand. "I promise to tell you if I'm not."

"So, that's Hope, huh?" He asked.

"Yup."

"This should be fun." Raven said.

"I love you for that." I told her. "But we've got to behave from now on, okay? So, none of that, at least not in public. And you," I glared at Ryan. "Try to resist to urge to hit any of my other employees."

He stared at me for several long moments, before completely disregarding my warning.

"So, this is the roof deck, huh?"

His answer was clear, though.

No promises.

And I knew the feeling. There were a couple people at his office that I wouldn't mind giving a good slap or two.

But restraint was good too.

I'd teach him.

I was having trouble taking my own advice about not hitting people.

One of those people I wouldn't mind slapping.

Brooke Logan.

Like this afternoon when my dad announced that primary funding would have to go either to my Intimates Line, or HFTF.

It was all starting to pile up. Hope had all but declared Liam was hers, if the way she hung off of him all day was any indication, and to make matters worse after I had argued my case for my line, Brooke had the nerve to insinuate that I was manipulating my father to rob Hope again.

Like she wasn't pregnant by the father of my child.

Like she hadn't gotten pregnant with said child while we were still married.

Like she wasn't toting him around like her favourite possession.

Like Brooke hadn't tried to manipulate my father using her position as his wife.

But here she was yelling at me in my office, daring to bring up my past indiscretions.

"I don't care about the shares you got by sleeping with your baby's grandfather."

And that was the last straw.

I hadn't realized I had hit her until the sound cracked and my hand stung from the force.

She gasped, clutching her cheek.

"How dare you?" She sneered.

"How dare I? You don't get to say anything to me. You are not my mother, and as of right now any respect I tried to have for you as my step-mother is gone. The shares I have are mine, and you should respect me enough as your CEO if not co-majority shareholder to keep your prejudice and self-righteous attitude to yourself. Oh, and btw, I didn't get the shares by sleeping with Bill, probably something you don't understand considering you slept your way into anything you ever had, including this company. But try to remember whose name is on the door. Hint; it isn't Logan. You and Hope are not entitled to everything you want. It's not the way the world works. I thought by your age you would have figured that out."

And I tried my hardest not to flip my hair as I left.

A/N: So that happened, mainly because I wanted to reach through my screen and slap Brooke when she was yelling at Steffy. Also, I felt like when Liam felt up Hope in their little back room sexcapades, I felt there should be witnesses. When Steffy told everyone that she and Liam weren't together anymore in the show, she didn't say why. And honestly, I wish she had, because Hope and Brooke are quick to make sure everyone knows about Steffy's indiscretions, so why should Steffy protect Hope and her holier-than-thou attitude.

I just feel like if more people at Forrester knew why Steffy really ended things with Liam, then maybe they would stop looking at Hope like she's some kind of angel.

Anyway, it's not a long chapter, just trying to mesh things in with the show because I want to incorporate some of Steffy's new storyline into this story.

Sorry for the rant.

Also, no promises on when the next update it going to be. School's been tough, but until next

time…XOXO ;-)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

A/N: Just want to give a quick shout out to all my loyal readers and reviewers. You make doing this a lot more fun and definitely give me the kick in the butt I need to make time for this, so this one's for you. Enjoy!

So, work was shit, but what else was new.

Believe me, I loved the Intimates line, I loved modelling and watching my ideas come to life. The business part of work was amazing, but with all the drama, I could never have a moment to appreciate it. Hope was always around the corner ready to tell me that her way of empowering women was above mine. The judgment rolling off her in waves.

Refusing to stoop to her level was becoming increasingly hard. Not to mention her constant woe is me, 'Steffy is always out to get me', victim persona is enough to make me pop a blood vessel.

My dad's marriage was hanging on by a thin thread, and I felt a little bad. As much as Brooke got on my nerves I wanted my dad to be happy and for whatever reason, she was that for him.

But for once in my life, the tension didn't follow me home. I didn't need to walk on eggshells, I was free of the anchor that was Liam. In fact, I had made a point of avoiding him at work, and his time with Kelly was usually when Amelia was around. I didn't want to hear his apology, I didn't need one. I was done dwelling and thinking, contemplating, and reliving everything. In fact, I had plans.

Not big plans, not really.

Nothing like motorcycle riding, or surfing, or skydiving.

Just dinner with Ryan.

And Raven.

If needed she would break any tension, because something between Ryan and I had shifted.

It was at one of the run throughs for the Intimates line. Quinn and I were running around with our heads cut off, matching jewelry, making changes last minute, when I spotted Ryan by the door.

"Hey, stranger." I said.

"Hey—um, hi— you look—I mean—" He cleared his throat looking down at the floor, before glancing back at me. "So, this is the line, huh? It's gorgeous."

He shut his eyes, laughter bubbling up in me at the grimace on his face.

"What my dear, tongue-tied brother is trying to say is you look gorgeous, Steffy Forrester." Raven said, walking through the door.

I had no idea how long she'd been there.

I glanced down at my black lace corset.

"Yeah." Ryan said. "That."

"Thanks." I grinned. "It's a work in progress but it's getting there. I just hope I do it justice up there?"

"You look perfect. With you up there, I promise everyone is going to love this line." He murmured, something different in his eyes.

His support meant a lot to me. His concern when we caught Hope with Liam meant everything, but this was different. The look in his eyes was less platonic than it should be, and I liked being his singular focus. I got lost in it, and the fluttery feeling it created.

Raven cleared her throat. "Steffy, your jewelry designer wants you."

"Right." I said, shaking my head. "I have to—okay, bye."

And then I ran away.

But we had planned dinner way before that, and I was curious enough to stick it out. Maybe that heady feeling was a fluke. But did I want it to be?

Turns out it didn't matter what I wanted.

Other than asking me where Kelly was when they'd first arrived, Ryan was completely silent, allowing Raven to chatter on.

Every so often he would glance up from is plate, and his eyes would catch mine for a second, and before I could see anything in their depths, or feel a twinge of something, he broke eye contact.

So, I tried to focus on Raven.

"I saw some of your sketches. I didn't know you were so interested in men's wear." I said, even though I wasn't sure that's what she had been talking about.

"Yeah, I wasn't really. But then I saw the most perfect man I've ever seen, and I just wanted to take off all his clothes—"

"Still here." Ryan groaned.

I smirked. I was beginning to know that feeling too.

"You didn't let me finish, Ry." She rolled her eyes. "I wanted to take off all his clothes and redress him."

"I'm happy for you, I guess." I said.

"Yeah, plus he just seems like a really great guy. He's got these dark soulful eyes that look so wise, but so happy."

"Where'd you see him?"

"Actually, it was at Forrester. Carter."

"Yeah, Carter's a great guy. One of the best." I said. "You like him?"

"He's beautiful, and sweet. But I'm waiting for a sign. "

I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, it would be nice to see him have some fun. He's had some bad luck in that department."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Just some relationships that didn't work out. It's not easy being the one who's left. He may be a little gun shy." I said.

Suddenly, I had all Ryan's attention. His eyes glued to mine even though he spoke to Raven.

"Don't get involved if you don't plan to stick around Ray. Something so complicated is easy to get tangled up in, but not always easy to get out."

"Yes, big brother. I'll be careful."

But he had my attention now too, because I hoped that wasn't really what he thought.

"So, just because someone has a little bit more baggage, they're not worth the trouble of getting involved?" I asked staring at him.

"No." He stared back. "That's not what I meant. I just mean that sometimes getting involved with a person with so many complications isn't going to work. And if you plan on it, you need to be sure that you're sticking it out, or you're just going to be another disappointment for that person. Or you might be the one who gets hurt. You just can't dive straight in until you know it's a sure thing."

"You ever heard of taking a risk?" I shot back.

I don't know why exactly, but the thought that he—or any other person—but specifically Ryan thought that some complications couldn't be overcome bugged me.

Because I definitely had more than a couple complications. My situation was about as sticky as they came, and I hated thinking that if I wanted to see what all these butterflies were about, that he wouldn't be keen on trying with me.

Raven cleared her throat.

"I'm just going to make sure that sweet baby of yours is still snoozing away."

She bolted. So much for breaking tension.

"Risk is fine. But that's not something I want to think about when other people's feelings are involved." His scratched at his brow, glancing back down at his plate.

For a long time, I silently stared at him. Watched as he ran a hand through his messy hair, and whenever his green gaze ran over me, that heady feeling returned, and I wanted to explore what that meant.

I wanted to figure it out with him.

"All it takes is one." I muttered, clearing my plate from the table.

"What?" He followed suit.

I whirled around, my gaze meeting his chest. We were so close I had to crane my neck back to meet his eyes.

"Every relationship is a risk. They may never work out. They could all end, but all it takes is one. Only one of them needs to last forever."

He sighed. And frowned. The turmoil in his gaze my only key to what could be going through his mind.

My shoulders dropped as I stared down and my feet anticipating is rejection. Instead, he tucked my hair behind my ears, his hands caressing my face, bringing my gaze back to his, bringing me up to my tippy toes.

And before he closed the distance between us, he said.

"I really want you to be that one."

A/N: I'm over STEAM, have been for a while. I can't remember if I promised this would be a steam fanfic, but I don't think it is anymore. I want someone like Ryan for Steffy, someone who's all about her and only sees her.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. More to come.

Until next time, read, review, Enjoy … :-)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A/N: Back at it again! Back to back chapters! I am on a roll. : - ) I love all the feedback I get from the readers, and a guest asked me who I picture when I write Ryan and Raven. I don't push my ideas of attractiveness on my readers because I personally always change characters in my head, so they match what I think is attractive or what I think they should look like. So, I'll answer in terms of personality and who I base them off. Ryan and Raven's relationship is like Monica and Ross, but also Hansel and Gretel, and Phoebe and Chandler.

Monica and Ross have one of the best brother sister relationships on TV, just really close. I have said in the past that Raven is very Phoebe like in my head, in her quirkiness, and Chandler always made fun of Phoebe's quirks. But because the story isn't as comedic as friends, I feel like they're also Hansel and Gretel (without the getting baked into pies) in the sense that it's been just them relying on each other for a long time.

I couldn't remember being this high.

And I'd experienced zero gravity where your stomach jumps and floats around.

Not even that compared to the feeling of Ryan's lips on mine. His hand tangled in my hand as the other drifted, wrapping around my waist, pulling me in closer. My own hands found their way to his neck, fingers brushing the short hairs.

It was the best feeling of sensory overload and numbness. I could feel everything and yet nothing else registered except the gentle brushes of his lips of mine. I lost sense of time, of air, of everything except the feeling of being wrapped up in him, in the fire that we were creating.

He pulled away on a groan, dropping his forehead to mine.

"Somebody has awful timing." He muttered, his nose brushing against mine.

"What?" I was a little dazed.

"There's someone at your door." He smiled.

"Right." I nodded. "Right."

"Mmhmm." He smiled.

"I should probably get that." I murmured.

"Probably."

But all I wanted to do was kiss him again, so I did, that rush taking over all the blood in my veins again, only pulling back at the persistent sound of the third knock.

"Okay." I sighed. "I have to get that."

I pulled back reluctantly, dropping down to my heels, laughing at the pink stain on Ryan's lips, before wiping it off.

"This better be important." I muttered, pulling the door open.

Liam stood on the other side, fist raised to knock again.

"Hi." He said, as he walked passed me into the house.

"Liam." I called. "I have—"

He froze at the fireplace.

"—company."

"Hey, man." Ryan grasped his hand. "It good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too." Liam said.

There wasn't as much tension as I would've guessed, except when I noticed Ryan still had a bit of my lipstick stained on his lips. Liam must have noticed it to because he tensed up. Ryan was oblivious, even as I waved and wiped at my own lips from behind Liam.

He frowned at me, confused at my gestures. Clearly, I wasn't any good at charades.

"I'm going to give you two some space. Raven's been MIA for too long. She's probably found her way to your closet by now."

He smiled, and I tried to show my gratitude to him for being so great in the three seconds our eyes held before he disappeared behind me.

"You and Ryan?" Liam asked as soon as Ryan was out of ear shot.

"I had them over for dinner. Him and Raven." I said.

I didn't feel the need to explain to him anything else. Everything was brand new.

He nodded.

"You seemed pretty urgent when you came in here. Did you need something?" I asked.

"Yeah, actually. I want to talk to you, but you've been avoiding me."

Oh, that.

Ryan's POV

"You know, I'm pretty sure Steffy doesn't share clothes with her friends." I said.

Sure enough, Raven was inspected a red leather jacket in Steffy's closet when I found her.

"I don't need her to. I happen to have the same one." She smirked.

"Get out of there, stop snooping."

She grinned at me. "What else was I supposed to do while I waited? By the way, I think you owe me a thank you."

"For what?"

"Well, brother, I removed myself, so fate could take over. And if the lipstick is any indication…" She smirked blowing past me.

"What about their auras and the reds and pinks and all that?" I asked, following her.

"What about it?" She frowned.

"Doesn't it mean something?" I shrugged.

"Everything means something, Ry. You should be asking me what your aura looks like when its tangled up with Steffy's and what that means. The universe only does so much for us Ry, the rest is completely up to us."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Sometimes, it was almost impossible to get a straight answer out of her. Sometimes I thought she saved it all up for me, just to mess with me.

"Okay, what does my aura look like when it's all tangled up with Steffy's then?"

She grinned.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that. You'll have to figure that out all on your own."

"Yeah, whatever." I scoffed.

She sat down on Steffy's bed. I followed, and then I noticed why. She could hear the voices coming through the speaker on the baby monitor.

"Oh, no." I shook my head. "You can't tell me what my aura looks like, but you can eavesdrop on private conversations."

I grabbed her hand pulling her out onto the balcony.

"You're no fun." She pouted.

Steffy's POV

"I haven't been avoiding you, Liam. I've just been busy."

"I can see that." he muttered.

"What did you need to talk about? I have guests."

"I wanted to explain about Hope and me." He said.

"You don't owe me anything, Liam."

"We were just caught up. We've been working together a lot and we'd just seen the baby, and everything just bubbled up and then you walked in. I'm sorry you had to see that." He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Liam, it's okay. I'm okay. I would appreciate it if you and Hope kept your activities more private, but I'm fine. You really don't have to explain things to me."

"Well, I feel like I do. I don't want to make you unhappy. And I don't want to be the reason you jump into something you're not ready for." He said, earnestly.

"Excuse me." I brushed his hand off my shoulder. "Believe it or not, not everything is about you Liam. I do things for me too, and I happen to actually like Ryan. He makes me happy, and I feel young again when I'm with him, which doesn't make any sense because we're not that old. But it's exciting and it's something I'm going to see through for me. Because I want to, and that has nothing to do with you or Hope." I glared.

"I just wanted to apologize." He said.

"Well, you didn't need to." I sighed. "You don't ever have to, this break up was my idea and it still is. And that means you're free to do whatever you want. I've accepted what that means for you, and I need you to do the same."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything." He said.

"It's okay." I smiled, checking the monitor. "Kelly's sleeping right now. I doubt you want to stick around."

"No, I'll probably drop by tomorrow."

"Okay."

I walked him to the door, closing it behind him, I leaned against it, squeezing the monitor in my hand.

Oh, crap.

Baby monitors.

If Ryan heard any of that, I doubt I could ever get him and Liam to be civil.

A/N: Until next time…;-)


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry guys, this last couple of weeks has been crazy full of midterms and assignments. But now that's done, at least for now. I'm on break and I actually have a plan/ outline for the remaining chapters, so I'm back and I'm going to try to finish off this story hopefully in the next four days so that I can really focus on school.

Thanks for being patient and sticking this out with me. Enjoy!

I found them on the patio, off my bedroom, huddled together like co-conspirators brainstorming their next heist. I watched amused at whatever crazy ideas they were cooking up, if Raven's animated hand gestures where any indication.

Opening the door, I made my presence known before I felt like too much of a spy.

"What're you guys doing out here?" I asked.

"Just thought we'd give you and Liam some privacy." Ryan said, much to Raven's annoyance.

She rolled her eyes.

"Mr. Moral Compass here freaked out because he could hear you through the baby monitor.

Don't worry, he hauled me out here before we could hear anything."

I laughed.

"Yeah, interruptions just about sum up my life right about now. Sorry you had to miss out."

She shrugged.

I turned my gaze to Ryan, trying to read him it was damn near impossible. It was a frustrating trait of his, one that peaked my curiosity too much if I had any hope of staying sane. I couldn't decide if I wanted to pick his brain, or if I like the suspense of not knowing what he was thinking.

"I wanted to borrow your brother for a bit."

She smirked. "Of course, you do."

"Don't worry, I have the baby monitor on me, so you can listen in." I winked as she retreated back into the house.

"So, where are you taking me?" He asked, slipping in hand into mine.

"To my favourite place." I smiled.

It seemed we were always taking each other on these little adventures.

"Lead the way." He said, as we fell in step with each other.

We walked for a while, with the brisk air surrounding us and the stars twinkling above us. It was beautiful, and it would have been entirely romantic, but I couldn't leave good enough and damn near perfect alone.

"I'm sorry we got interrupted earlier."

He gazed down at me with hooded eyes before grinning that smile of his.

"Me too."

"Liam wanted to explain and he has the worst timing in the history of forever, but I said the door was always open because of Kelly and I guess he took that literally. But what I mean is, my situation is a lot complicated and what you said before about being sure and then we get interrupted by my whole lot of complication just walking through the door and I just-"

He kissed me.

Right in the middle of my marathon ramble, just wrapped his hands around my waist and melted me with a kiss that I couldn't help but return, my hands finding their way to his neck.

He smiled when he pulled away.

"In case you were still wondering, I'm sure." He said.

"Yeah?"

"Liam is a part of your life, and I get it. The way you guys are trying to do this for Kelly is pretty cool. If I want to be a part of yours, and I do, I have to be civil to Liam and I will. Not promising best friends because I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me," I grimaced. "But nice enough."

"Thank you."

"So where is this place of yours?" He asked.

I laughed, waving my hand towards the scene before us as we stood near the edge of the cliff, watching the waves, hearing them crash into the giant mountain we were standing on.

"If this is where you plan to kill me and toss my body over, Raven will turn you in." He joked.

I shoved his arm. "As if. I would never dump your body here, at my house. I'm much smarter than that, you know. I'd definitely steal a car and bury you in at least 3 different places." I laughed.

"Okay, should I be worried?"

"Shut up."

"Seriously, though it's really amazing out here." He said, glancing over at me.

"I always thought so."

"So, when's our next adventure?" I asked.

"You mean our first date." He grinned.

"I mean, adventures have kind of become our thing." I shrugged. "Plus, I don't think I've ever even been on a first date. It'd be like my _first_ first date. I'm not even sure that I'm the sit across from someone and talk about hobbies kind of girl. I mean, we already know most of that stuff about each other anyway—"

"Woah, woah, hang on. You never had a first first date?"

I shook my head.

"So, no lanky little teenager, with baggy low-riding jeans ever came over to take you to a movie?"

"No." I laughed.

"Ridge didn't meet him at the door and immediately hate him and order you to be home like two hours before your curfew."

"No." I shook my head, still giggling.

"You never went to see a PG-rated movie and then had some kid think he was the smoothest by yawning and dropping his arm over you."

"God, tell me you never did any of that."

"Of course, I did. Down to the intimidating dad, and the yawn move. Of course, we never went out again considering she thought the yawn thing was beyond stupid and we were like 5 minutes late on the curfew."

"Oh, no." I pouted. "And that was so painful for you."

He shrugged. "It doesn't keep me up nights or anything."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Now." He admitted. "It doesn't keep me up nights now."

"Mmhmm, that's what I thought." I said, grinning. "And if you must know I went to boarding school when I was a teenager, and the girls and boys had separate dorm rooms and guards on patrol. It was the same campus, but the boy's part was a whole different school and we rarely ever shared the same classes. Plus, I was too busy raising hell, trying to get my parents back together and trying to break up my dad's marriage."

He nodded. He had a pensive look about him.

"Yeah, I was the original Parent trap didn't you know?" I joked.

"I bet you were." He grasped my hand in his and began walking us back. "Okay, I got to get you back before curfew. I want to stay on Ridge's good side, you know."

"You think you're so cute."

"I am, and I'm going to rectify this first date thing. Get ready to have the best first first date of your life."

I laughed, trying to keep up as we walked back to the house. But he was determined.

"Oh my God, you're serious." I said.

"As a heart attack." He dropped a kiss to my lips before continuing his mission. "And you better get some sleep, you're going to need to be well rested if you want to keep up."

A/N: So, for the purpose of this fan fiction, Steffy never had a first first date, not that if she did they would've put it in the show anyway. So, just a bit of cute fluff. I think the best kind of love is where you can be kind a goofy and stupid, plus I'm at that age where its goofy and fun and the thought of sitting across from someone and discussing jobs, and hobbies and pet peeves or whatever older people do on dates.

Anyway, until next time, which is hopefully tmrw or if I'm really good, later today. Trying to get it all done before I go on vacation… :-)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

A/N: So, I couldn't get it all done before I went on vacation, but I'm back now and back at it again with another one, pure fluff btw. Enjoy!

When the doorbell rang, I rushed to open it a little giddy with excitement.

And a little nervous, which was ridiculous I tried to remind myself. This was Ryan we were talking about, we always had fun together. We were goofballs and if I had to say which of the two of us were the bigger goof, I'd say him.

But the butterflies didn't go away, instead they settled, making a nest heavy and low in my stomach.

He was leaning against the doorjamb when I pulled it open, almost stumbling but catching himself, running a hand over his hair as if it hadn't happened.

 _See, goof._

And even though the butterflies were still ever-present, an ease settled over me as I surveyed his grey Henley and jeans. I too had dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I hadn't exactly been given a choice considering he wouldn't let me in on the surprise of my very first, first date.

"Good." I said, grinning. "I wasn't sure if I should've broken out the baggy, low-riding jeans and graffiti painted tank top." I pressed a kiss to his lips.

He wrapped his arms around my hips, keeping me close to him, teetering on my toes.

"I doubt you ever had that outfit, Miss Fashion Dynasty."

"Yep, and the really huge gold hoops to match." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Sexy."

"Mmhmm." I leaned forward. "Pretty hot."

"I bet." He murmured, his lips brushing against mine, before the caught mine firm but gentle, his arms tightening around me, piercing that butterfly nest, letting them all flutter about. He pulled back slowly, his nose brushing against mine.

"Hi." He said.

"Hey."

"You ready?"

"Yeah." I dropped down to my heels, taking his arm pulling him inside. "Just waiting for you to tell me where we're going, and I'll get my shoes."

"Well, that depends."

"On?"

"Your curfew." He said.

Just then, Amelia walked out of Kelly's room.

"Amelia, this is Ryan. Ryan this is Amelia, Kelly's nanny."

They exchanged pleasantries.

Amelia and I had a joke running all day about how long she would let me stay out.

"I have her permission to stay out until ten, unless something comes up."

She giggled.

"Yep, I'm very strict with my rules, Ryan."

"Okay." He chuckled.

"I'm just going to pop in on Kelly for a minute and then we can go, okay?"

"You know, you still haven't told me where we're going, and just FYI, no sixteen-year-old has this car."

"You'll find out soon enough. We're almost there."

"I better. Don't think I won't use other means of getting the information." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, just in time to catch his little smirk.

"That sounds promising. What were you thinking?"

"Oh, trust me, you wouldn't like my torture methods."

"Nothing you do to me could ever be torture." He winked.

I grinned.

"I was going to call Raven and get it out of her." I said.

He shrugged. "Go ahead, she doesn't know." He turned another corner.

"And it doesn't matter now because we're here."

He pulled into the parking lot of a Playdium, amusement park center. I'd always wanted to go, but with all the drama, and boarding schools, there was never a time. Inside was just about every old school arcade game that every existed, a glow in the dark bowling alley, air hockey, pool table and the go kart race track out back. No doubt we were going to be the oldest people there, who weren't just on their phones in the pizza parlor waiting for their kids to be done, but I didn't care.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" I grinned.

"Good surprise?" He asked, amused, as he pulled into an empty parking spot.

"The best. This is awesome. Although I should warn you now, that I am very competitive and just about the biggest sore loser in the world. I'm probably not the best winner either. But this is perfect. Its already the best first date ever." I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Get ready to have your but kicked."

"Alright, you goof. Let's go." He got out of the car, and I quickly followed suit, unable to keep still.

"There's a movie screening at celebration square a little later. If I can drag you out of here, there's a blanket, and dinner waiting for us over there."

"Is there anything you don't think of?"

"Is it? I think it might be." I grinned, watching my ball roll down the lane, the neon pink popping against the neon blue of the gutters. "I think I feel another strike coming on."

I started walking back to the table that Ryan was leaning on, arms crossed over his chest, face a mixture of amusement, and a competitive edge that he needed considering he was trailing behind.

As I walked, his amusement turned into a full-on smirk.

"Guess not." He said.

Sure enough, one pin was still standing.

"Okay, I'm still winning though." I stuck out my tongue. "I mean, sportsmanship." I corrected myself.

"Uh huh."

I knocked down my pin and I won, eventually and not by much. Hence the reason I insisted we play air hockey and pool. Games of true skill.

I won air hockey, and he won pool.

"Okay, basketball." I demanded.

"You know, winning isn't everything." He pointed out, following as I dragged him through the mass of preteens and moody teenagers.

"Sure."

"And you're winning anyway." He said.

"I know, but barely."

"It really matters how much you win by?" He asked.

"Of course." I said, as we grabbed the ball. "Okay give me your best shot."

"Oh, I will. You're looking at Applewood's varsity MVP. "

My brows rose. "Oh, so it's like that huh? Well, I was a pretty big tomboy. I used to beat my brother at horse all the time."

Turns out Varsity MVP beats out Forrester Horse Champion.

We were sitting on a blanket, underneath the stars, a black and white movie that I wasn't paying that much attention to was flickering in the background. With every bite of my sub I was more and more happy that I didn't have to choke down greasy cardboard arcade pizza.

"This was perfect." I said, leaning on Ryan's shoulder.

"Yeah, because you won." He chuckled. "You get kind of crazy when it comes to winning.

"I did warn you. And winning was great, but I wouldn't want to have beaten anyone else at those games tonight."

"So, I'm your favorite loser?" He asked, grinning.

"Shut up. I'm happy I had my first first date with you."

He leaned down and pressed a slow sweet kiss to my lips.

"As long as you promise to fix my ego like that, you can beat me at arcade games as many times as you like.

A/N: I warned you, tooth rotting fluff. Until next time … :-)


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A/N: So, it's been a while, huh? (whistles guiltily) LOL. Seriously though, I am sorry. When I started this story, I had no idea it would turn into this monster of a multi-chapter marathon story. It was summer, and I completely underestimated how hard it was going to be to balance a writing schedule with a university schedule and assignments and all that good stuff. But lesson learned, save writing for summer breaks when I have all that free time. Oh, and side note: did you see the hunky hunk that asked out Steffy last episode. Definite upgrade. I understand her saying no for right now, so for now at least I have this to hold me over until she moves on completely. Anyway, sorry and thanks for sticking it out with me. I'm back at it again with another one… :-)

I had forgotten what it felt like to be in a brand-new relationship.

That giddy, butterflies, spend every second together, want to stay so close that I would sew my skin to his if that was physically possible and not totally gross, feeling.

I love that feeling.

That rush of excitement that was just always there, even if you weren't doing anything special.

Like watching tv.

Watching TV was so much better with Ryan.

Even when Netflix only gave you 20 seconds between episodes of Arrow—which Ryan who apparently lived under a rock in Paris, has never seen and is now completely addicted to— and your adorably obsessed boyfriend says, "I'm going to start the next episode whether you're in here of not."

So, you say to yourself "screw the dip" and just grab the bland chips before returning to you spot seated across his lap on the single lounger, because sitting on the two-seater is too far away.

"You know, we'd have more space if we moved over to the bigger chair."

"Yeah, but I like this." I glanced at him. "Because then I can do this." I leaned up to kiss him, pulling back and resting my head on his shoulder. "And you love that."

"It is pretty great." He said, leaning in again.

"Shh, it's starting." I giggled, pushing him back.

It's that same giddy feeling that makes me do stupid shit. Like agree to a surprise date again. Well, maybe I agreed on faith since the last time he did this, it was amazing. But then he pulled up to the indoor ice rink, and that stupid giddy, butterfly in my stomach had me going, "well, I guess I could give it a try."

So, there we were lacing up skates, me nervously eyeing the ice of the currently empty rink.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, grateful that nobody would be able to see my wipeout, but worried it meant that he had booked it for an obscene amount of time that would probably result in a broken or at least sprained ankle.

"I rented it out for the next hour and a half." He said.

Well, that wasn't too bad. Maybe no sprained ankles, but at least two wipeouts.

"You ready?" He took my hand.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I smiled as he pulled me onto the ice.

And Ryan was really graceful on the ice for being such a tall guy. I however, felt like a baby giraffe just learning to walk.

He frowned at me but didn't say anything.

Not until the toe-pick tripped me up and a stumbled forward. He pulled me back, holding me securely in his arms as he skated us around.

"So, you can't skate." He said.

I watched as his feet glided, confused about the physics of it all.

"How'd you guess?"

"I didn't want to say anything, but you kind of looked like a newborn animal out there, all clumsy and gangly limps."

"Uh huh, you suck." I stuck out my tongue at him as he led us around. Him completely at ease and me holding on tight enough to bruise.

"And why would I know how to skate? This is LA, not exactly the North pole. How do you even know?"

"I played hockey when I was growing."

"Really? A hockey player." I pulled at his lips. "Are these all your real teeth?"

He swatted my hand away, grinning.

"You'll never know."

"Okay, Mister Hockey man, teach me how to skate." I said.

"You sure?" He asked. "I like this."

"Of course, you do. I'm sure." I smiled. "Teach me. Just don't let me fall okay?"

"Never."

"So, you and my brother. How's that going?" Raven asked.

I rolled my eyes.

We were at a business lunch for the Intimates line, but Raven was otherwise distracted.

"I brought you here to talk designs."

"Let's table that for now. You and my brother."

I giggled. An actual stupid, thirteen-year-old with a crush giggle.

"That well, huh?"

I shook my head, coming back to my adult self.

"Maybe we should keep me and Ryan, and me and you separate."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because you two are like my best friends. Outside of work and my family, I don't have a lot go those, and maybe you shouldn't be too involved. I don't want to lose you too, if Ryan and I end up…I don't know."

"But if you guys get married, you'll be my sister. I always wanted a sister."

"Woah, that's what I mean. Now Ryan and I are getting married. We just started dating. We're still in the really good exciting, can't stay away from each other part. We haven't even had our first fight yet. It could just as easily go the other way."

"Now you're dumping my brother. Why? He's amazing."

I laughed. "What the hell is going on in this conversation?"

"You were hypothetically dumping my brother."

"Hey, who said I would dump him? Maybe it was mutual, or he dumped me."

We glared at each other, before bursting out laughing.

"I'd still be friends with you though. I'd be sad for a little while, but I wouldn't abandon you because you're not dating my brother anymore."

"I know."

"And I might be a little too invested in this, but just because he's my brother and you're my friend. I know you and I like you. How great would it be if this was both of your happily ever after's? I mean, you deserve it. It would definitely fix my karma, and it —"

"Your karma?" I asked.

"Let's just say I've got in the way of his happily ever after before."

My brows probably hit my hairline. Only Raven would think she could say something like that and move on.

"Explain. Who was this person?"

A little green monster was taking up residence inside me. Not that it had any reason too, considering my history with Liam, but I hated knowing that Ryan had a somebody significant before me.

"Her name was Elle. And I shouldn't have said it like that. It was high school. She and Ryan had been together for almost all of high school. Ryan was being looked at by hockey scouts, who wanted to recruit him for the NHL."

"Really? Here?"

"Yeah, he was that good. Ryan channeled all his grief into training and school, and I just… couldn't. I was spiraling, and I didn't want anyone to help. I started taking drugs and hanging out with all the wrong people because it made the pain go away for a while. And then I hit rock bottom. Ryan found me OD'ing, got me help, stayed with me, got me clean. Gave up on hockey and moving here, playing pro. Elle was young and didn't feel like putting her life on hold for me."

I took her hand in mine, trying to comfort her. I'd never seen my exuberant, a little crazy friend be so solemn before.

She shrugged. "I've been good. I've been sober for almost 11 years now. And I honestly don't know if Elle was going to be a good match for him. If they would've been happy, but I can't help but feel responsible for them never having a chance. So, if you guys work out, after I kind of set you guys up—"

"You didn't really set us up." I said.

"Yeah, but my designs brought you to Paris, to Ryan. It's a little selfish, but if you and Ryan end up making each other happy, I can finally balance my karma. Everybody will be happy."

"I'm pretty sure Ryan is happy just because you're still around." I smiled. "And if that isn't enough, we do make each other happy so that should fix your karma. I have no plans of leaving your brother or breaking up with him. Things a pretty damn near perfect with us right now. I really, really, really like him."

I reassured her.

He made me happy, and giddy, and jealous and possessive and I couldn't imagine not feeling this way about him.

Ever.

A/N: So, here it is. It's kind of a mess but I wanted to post something for you guys. The skating scene I had to cut short when I realized that I don't know how to skate, so writing Ryan teach Steffy how to skate would be really hard. I wanted to give Raven and Ryan a little bit more of a backstory and possibly create a conflict for the new couple? We'll see. I have a midterm coming up so I probably won't post until next weekend or the weekend after that. Sorry guys, but hopefully I can wrap this up by Christmas break.

Until next time… ;-)


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

A/N: Midterm after midterm after assignment after test. That's basically my life right now. Definitely put too much on my plate when I decided to start this story back in August, but I hate leaving people hanging, especially when there hasn't been a lot of on screen Steffy. Sorry, but I'm back. It's not much, just following up on parts of the old storyline I didn't include in my own way.

"Hey gorgeous. I was actually just coming to—"

He was knocked off guard for a second, forced to take a step back when I threw my weight against him, and pressed my lips to his. His shock was short lived before he wrapped his hands around my waist, supporting me as I leaned into him. His lips grazed over mine, teasing and nibbling for what could have been a few minutes, a couple hours, or a couple sunset filled days in the hallway.

"—see you." He said, as we pulled back. "Hi."

"Hi there." I smiled.

"What did I do? I'll try to do it more often."

"Nothing. That was just cuz." I winked, which always came out goofy because I couldn't wink unless I opened my mouth and forced one eye closed.

He chuckled. "Sexy."

"I know."

"I was wondering if the beautiful, smart, all powerful boss lady wanted to go to lunch."

"I was actually going to try to talk to Liam and Hope today. Rain check."

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just something that's probably overdue, but I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before leaving.

Liam and Hope looked tense to say the least. Since I had caught them in the backroom together, they'd grown closer and ultimately more awkward around me.

"You guys can relax. This is a friendly meeting, I promise."

I pulled out the box where I kept my engagement ring.

"Listen, I know that we haven't always had the best relationship. Especially us, Hope." She was wringing her hands together.

"But we are family, and have been family for a really long time, and our children are going to be siblings. I don't want them to grow up the way we did with our moms hating each other. I want us to have a better relationship, or else this blended family we're in is never going to work."

I held out the box to Hope.

"So, think of this of my olive branch."

She took it, opening it in silent shock.

"What are you doing Steffy?" Liam asked.

"I think you guys should get married. Stop hiding your relationship and just be happy. Believe it or not I want that for you. Both of you."

"You're proposing to me?" Hope asked.

"No, Liam is. Or I guess he will eventually. I just know how much that ring means to him and I'm just letting you know that I don't need it anymore. I'm happy. Really happy, and I want you guys to be too. I want us to start over on a blank slate of sorts."

"Are you sure?" Liam asked. He looked a little guilty and a whole lot confused.

"I'm sure." I took his hands. "Listen, I'll never regret the time we had together, it gave me Kelly. But I think it's time we move on." I gave them to Hope. "And this time, for once, everybody will be happy, and no one gets left behind."

"Okay." They said together.

Before they left, Liam looked back at me. "I'm glad you're happy Steffy."

I smiled.

It was a new era at Forrester Creations, one with hopefully less drama, but enough to still keep us interesting.

A/N: Leaving this super short sort of filler chapter here and running away. I do need this scene to happen for later things, and I loved how classy Steffy was in this scene in the show. Obviously, a lot of paraphrasing because that was a while ago. Anyway, I'm pretty free as far as tests and assignments go next week, so I'll try to post another chapter this weekend.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

A/N: Hey! I'm back at it again with another one… Enjoy!

"Sorry, I can't let you in."

I heard Pam say from the other side of my office door.

"Are you sure? I don't think Steffy will mind." Ryan said.

"Oh, I'm sure. She's very busy, and she said no distractions." Pam said. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you can be distracting."

"Me?" He said, bring out the 'humbled' charm. What a dork? "I barely register, but you on the other hand—"

I could practically see his grin even from behind my desk. That good natured, self-deprecating smile that he absolutely knew was distracting as hell.

"Now, I heard you were sweeter than your lemon bars, but beauty and strength. I can see where Steffy gets it from."

"Yes, we do have a lot of strong women in our family. You know Steffy was named after my sister Stephanie. She was as beautiful and strong as they come and Steffy is the same, and she if focusing on her line today. The fashion show is just around the corner and she has a lot to do. She can't be disturbed. Even by you." She declared.

I wondered how long I should let this go on before I went out there to get him.

"I wouldn't dare disturb her. I just thought since she hasn't taken a break for lunch that I'd bring her some. Don't want our fierce leader running on empty." My stomach grumbled on queue. Had I really worked through lunch? "Il Giardino. And I didn't forget about you. I know it's nothing compared to your superior baking skills, but I brought you a red velvet cupcake."

"Is it really already past lunch?" Pam asked. "Okay, as long as you know that my baking is superior you may leave the cupcake and go on in."

He walked in, leaning against the door, grinning from ear to ear with success.

"I almost didn't make it past the gate. She is tough."

"Yeah, she is."

"Hi." He said.

I walked over leaning up to kiss him. "Hey."

I pulled away quickly, grabbing the bag from him getting comfortable with my food.

"What'd you get me?" I asked, pulling out the box, the sweet aroma filling the air.

"Huh, so I guess you don't need me anymore now that I've made my delivery."

"Shut up." I laughed, taking a seat and opening the glorious container of Il Giardino's 7 cheese Mac and Cheese.

"My favourite."

"I still don't know how you eat that stuff."

"Food of the Gods, right here." I groaned. "And I'm happy you don't like it. Because I don't share."

"Yeah, I know. I still have the scratch marks from that time I tried to take a meatball of your plate."

"It serves you right, you…greedy eater." I laughed.

"Well, you can always take food off my plate, because _I_ know how to share." He smirked.

"And you can have my onions, olives, and red peppers."

"So generous."

"I know." I grinned. "They should give me an award."

"So, how the line coming along? We ready for tomorrow?" He asked.

And so, the ranting began, around bites of food so delicious I could just cry.

I cherished these moments. We've had to have a lot of them recently. With me working tirelessly to get the Intimates line in perfect shape and trying to balance and the time I spent with Kelly, we had to spend time with each other whenever we could. Sadly, that meant less impromptu surprise dates, but I loved this small moments and gestures with him, just as much as the grand ones.

* * *

"Quinn, Zoe is missing a bracelet, and the clasp on Sally's earring is bothering her."

"Okay. They need you in hair and makeup, Steffy."

It was a frantic mess backstage. Everyone was running around with last minute checkups, and requests. Some of the model's nerves were beginning to rub off on me, or maybe I just needed this to go well to prove to my dad that he made the right choice when he allocated the funding to Intimates, but as I collapsed into the make-up chair, I'd never been so nervous.

I was being showered under hairspray, when a throat cleared at the doorway.

Ryan stood there with a bouquet of lilies.

I think the sound that escaped me was something of a laugh sob between happy smile. I reached out my arms to him, which he gladly filled.

"Hi." I smiled into his kiss, my forehead resting on his.

"Hey." He said. "How are we doing?"

I shrugged, turning my head slightly, but not enough to lose contact.

"Are those for me?"

"No, they're for my other girlfriend. I don't know if you've seen her. She got long dark hair, and these eyes that just…wow. She's modelling the showstopper today. You couldn't miss her. She lights up the whole room without even trying."

"I'll be sure to give these to her when I see her." I huffed.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. I'm not usually nervous before these things. I mean, it's been a while since I modelled, and I've been mostly doing the business side of things for a while, and I just really want everything to go well. There's a lot at stake, a whole line got scaled back for this and everybody's counting on me to be strong and confident and I have been, I think. I just really want everything to be perfect."

He pulled back, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"Okay, first breathe." He said. "Everything's going to be great. You have a great team; the designs are gorgeous. And on you, they're perfect. Everyone is going to want to buy this, and everything is going to be perfect."

I nodded.

"Now, where do you want me?"

I laughed.

"Now is not the time." I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled. "Now who's mind is in the gutter. I meant, do you want me to wait for you backstage or do you want me in the audience?"

"Can you hang out here, and then go out to the audience before I go out, and then come back here after the final line up?"

"Of course. Anything." He pressed a quick kiss to my lips. "Today is going to be a success."

There's a rush about being on the runway, with all the flashing lights, the rhythmic thumping of the music, and commanding the space the space around you. Modelling in lingerie was always a different kind of feeling, giddy with confidence and empowerment of being comfortable in your own skin. The show was a success, and when I hit the end of the runway, everything faded away but a pair of green eyes that made the day as close to perfect as one day can get.

A/N: Kind of fluffy, kind of domestic Ryan and Steffy, with an OTH Easter egg. A little out of character Steffy. She doesn't usually get nervous on the show. She usually is pretty confident, but I love the idea of being reassured by the person your dating. I think it's a really meaningful part of relationships, under all the excitement and butterflies, it's important that partners be able to talk each other down and make each other feel safe. Anyway, I'll try to keep posts frequent but no promises. Exam time is around the corner, so I'll try to post whenever I have spare time.

Until next time…:-)


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

A/N: I'm sorry guys! I know it has been a while, but exams are over, and I needed a couple days to switch my brain from school mode back into fun, creative, writing mode. And now that all that information is taking a back seat, I can finally get back to this story, and hopefully keep updating frequently over break. Hopefully the amount of Steffy screen time has been holding you over. This is just my version of that little get together that Steffy had at her house, and I promise, more to come later.

"You know, you can't keep doing this." I said from behind by blindfold.

"Doing what?" He asked, innocently as he guided me through, well, I don't know what actually.

"Showing up and whisking me away to ominous places with blindfolds."

He laughed. "I promise it's not ominous. And you trusted me enough to come along, so you can't back out now."

"Yeah, I trust you. Just as long as I don't run into anything."

"Don't worry, I got you."

"You better."

We turned a few corners, before I was held to a stop.

"Okay, are you ready?"

I nodded.

"Okay, surprise me."

He pulled the blindfold free, and we were in a dark room.

"Okay, I gotta say, you did a little better on your—"

"Surprise!"

The lights flashed on, spinning around the room of the club. And there was Sally, Wyatt, Zoe, Zander, Ridge, Raven, Carter, Pam and Charlie, all screaming and clapping at my shock.

"You really didn't know?" Ryan asked.

"Well, you do surprises so often, but it's never anything normal. I never would've guessed surprise party. You got me." I leaned up, wrapping my arms around this neck. "Thank you." I pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Your welcome, go have fun."

The best thing about success is doing it as part of a team. And I never felt that more than surrounded by my Intimate's team, all of them dancing and drinking, celebrating our success together. It makes all the hard work and stress worth it in the end, when you could share the happiness with others.

The sound of a mic tapping, pulled my attention from Sally, to where my dad stood.

"Before I step out and let you young people enjoy yourselves. I just want to say how proud I am of Steffy and her work with the Intimate's line. It was something she was passionate about and she worked to make it a reality with all of you. This success has been a big win for Forrester and a great win for Steffy. As her co-CEO I'm ecstatic about her success, and as her father I'm overjoyed that she has found happiness in work and in life. Congratulations Steffy."

He wrapped me up in a bear hug.

"Speech."

"Speech."

"Speech."

"Thank you, dad. And thank you guys for all of this. I don't know when you sneaky sneaks had time to plan all this, but I am really grateful. Especially since none of this would be happening without all of your efforts. I truly have the best team, and the best people here with me tonight, so have fun. You deserve it."

The music commenced, I waved at Raven where she was going a little crazy on Carter, before I averted my eyes. Pam and Charlie were already calling it a night, and who could blame them. It wasn't really their scene.

"So," Ryan said. "Are you going to dance with me?"

"If you have Raven's dancing genes then…no I don't think so."

He glanced over at Raven who seemed to be trying to fly away at that moment.

"Yeah, no. I was thinking more like this."

He placed my arms around his neck, and wrapped is around my waist and swayed us, not to the beat since the DJ was playing 'Return of the Mack'.

"This is nice." I said.

"Yeah, it will be if you can avoid stepping on my feet." He said.

"Oh, sorry." I cringed. "You know, I thought you'd be a waltz-er. But I have say, I definitely like stand and sway more."

He laughed. "Yeah, my stand a sway skills are the talk of Paris."

"Oh, yeah. You stand a sway with a lot of girls?" I smirked.

"Not anymore. Only you. Always you."

I grinned. "You better. You're my stand and sway partner. All mine."

I leaned into him, my lips brushing over his.

"I could stay here like this, with you forever. You know that?"

"I know. I'd stay wherever you are forever. As long as you want me there."

"Even if I lived in Antarctica?"

"Even if you lived in an igloo with all the penguins."

"What about Paris?" I asked.

"I don't need to be there year-round. My COO is very capable, I trust him, and I could handle everything else from here."

"But it's your home. All your memories, all your dad's art is there."

"My home is wherever you are. If you want me here, then I'll stay."

This was moving really fast, anyone else would've pressed the brakes. But he was my best friend, and I was falling for him hard and fast, with no safety belt. But I didn't think I'd need one with him. I would take a chance on him, because I didn't want to imagine my life if he wasn't in it.

I took the risk, knowing this time it wouldn't be like it was with Liam.

"Stay."

A/N: Kind of small and fluffy. What can I say? I love fluff. I'll post another chapter sometime this week. I promise not to keep you guys waiting long. Until next time… :-)


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A/N: Back so soon? Why yes! I didn't even give you guys time to miss me lol. Sorry that was cheesy. My sleeping schedule is jacked. Exams kind of wrecked me, and if I want to be able to wake up for my 8 am classes next semester, I've got to fix this sleeping thing now. Hence, the sleep deprived productivity and oversharing. All products of the all-nighter I'm trying to pull, so excuse any grammar mistakes and inconsistencies. This was done in delirium. Enjoy!

When you're an adult, like I am beginning to figure out, I am, life comes in waves.

There are peaks and hollows.

Like last week, when I told my boyfriend of all of a month, whom I've only known for about two and half months, to give up his life in Paris and move to LA to be with me.

Major peak, huge risk, massive high.

I guess, that's how it's supposed to feel—realizing that you've fallen for someone—and no rational, logic, or time invested matters, because feelings don't always equal minutes. And it's the greatest feeling in the world.

But then you come down, and the feeling is still there, a steady lulling constant that pulls at you, but you realize the depth of what you're feeling, the size of the steps you' re taking, and you panic a little.

Old insecurities creep in.

There's a safety in recovery. Recovering from a break up is like a broken leg. It keeps you from putting pressure on the injury, from diving back in full throttle. Liam and I were tumultuous, painful, and unstable, but I loved him, and I could never see past that love in the moment. And I could reassure myself that it's not the same with Ryan, but I'll never know until I know. So, I put pressure on that leg, and I'll have to wait to see if I feel pain, and that scares the hell out of me.

That's the hollow.

That fear has been present with me all week. And life went on, as it does. The world kept spinning, Forrester was nuts with shipment and orders riding the success of Intimates, Kelly had her first fever which scared the crap out of me and Liam. Hope and Liam's wedding was buzzing about the office. I was working with Raven and Ryan, preparing the press release to announce our merger, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and praying that it didn't.

I couldn't carry that tension to Liam and Hope's wedding.

I'd already been asked, "Are you alright?" with that stupid sympathetic frown by my dad, my mom over facetime, Amelia when she came to sit with Kelly, and Raven.

Ryan didn't dare ask, or maybe he was scared of the answer.

I hoped he wasn't.

"I'm glad you're here with me." I smiled, as I laced my fingers through his. We were seated in Brooke's foyer, waiting for the couple so the proceedings could begin. "Not that I couldn't handle being here by myself, or that I need emotional support because I'm upset. I'm just happy you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." He smiled. "And you really don't have to edit everything you say to me."

"I know." I said. "I'm really not trying to. It's just everyone is acting weird, and overly concerned for me. A lot of eyes are on us and I don't want you to be uncomfortable or like we're putting on a show, even though it seems like that's what some of these people are expecting from me by the way they're staring."

He chuckled. "I know what we are Steffy, and I know all about you and Liam. I understand the stares, and I don't feel any type of way about it."

"What are we, exactly?" I asked.

"What?"

"I'm just curious, because we were dating and you are my boyfriend, and then I asked you to move here and abandon your company and entire life—"

"And its freaking you out because…?"

"I don't know. It's just not something ordinary people do at this point in a relationship."

He leaned his head closer to my seat.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I think you're pretty extraordinary, and I'm well above average myself if I'm being modest, so this seems right for us, don't you think?"

I grinned. "I am extraordinary, and you my humble date, are pretty extraordinary yourself."

"Great, now that that's out of the way, maybe you can stop overexplaining your every statement to me, and I can enjoy this ceremony. I happen to love weddings, I'll have you know."

"You do?"

"Why wouldn't I? There's food, cake, dancing. Its two people standing up in front of their friends and family, being brave and saying 'This is it. I've found my person. I'm closing up shop, there's no other fish out there for me.' What's not to love?"

I scoffed. "Maybe in your family. In mine it's more like 'I found someone I love unconditionally, unless any of the following happens, and then we insert the conditions that will most likely lead to divorce."

"Okay cynic, just try to keep those remarks to a minimum."

"I'll try." I winked. "No promises though."

Then the music sounded, and we rose to watch the bride descend the stairs.

* * *

The ceremony was very Hope and Liam; she wore her mother's dress, Wyatt was Liam's best man, Brooke spoke of love and destiny, and Hope and Liam wrote personal vows that were admittedly, very sweet. It was traditional, rather standard, no surprises, no motorcycles or ziplines or shocking black dresses.

Again, not hating on their day. To each his own, but I like a little flare. Maybe when Ryan and I—woah, too far, I don't know why I thought that.

"Hey." Hope had been making the rounds and hand landed on me. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Of course." I said, and we tried to find some privacy.

"I just want to thank you for coming and for being so great about all this. I know things with us haven't always been great, and most women in your position would resent me and this child for how it all happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is I admire your strength, and I really do want us all to get along and be a family. I want what you want, for our kids to have each other and be close like you and Phoebe were, and I know it might take some work but I'm really hopeful."

"I meant that. I want Kelly to have that relationship with your daughter. I don't want to continue the animosity our mothers have, and I glad you and Liam are happy. I think it's time we all find our happiness."

She smiled before her attention snagged on Charlie, bring out the cake.

"Oh, and Hope." I called, before I completely lost her to the wedding cake high. "Congratulations."

* * *

(At the same time, at another spot in Brooke's Foyer.)

Ryan's POV

Liam and I weren't great.

We weren't friends. We weren't anything.

I couldn't blame him. Though, he was getting married today, his feelings for Steffy were still there. They probably always would be, considering everything. He loved them both and that's something I had to deal with.

He had to deal with the fact that Steffy ended their relationship, I was with Steffy now, I was in love with her and none of those things were ever going to change.

Suffice to say, we were never going to be friends.

I tried not to step on his toes, tried not to be around him too much, tried not to make it seem like I was taking his place in Steffy's life, in Kelly's life, but sometimes he still saw it that way, that couldn't be helped, and I couldn't fault him for that.

I still tried to extend the olive branch as much as I could. I didn't stay away from Kelly, because she was adorable, but I followed Steffy's lead and made sure Liam knew that I respected his place in Kelly's life. That was a must for me, and an unspoken understanding between us.

But we would never be more than acquaintances.

That's what I thought, until he strolled up to me.

"Hey, man." He said.

"Hey."

"So, listen, Steffy wants us to be friends; me, her and Hope, for our kids and I figure I should try to include you in that friendship because she seems pretty sure about you."

"Thanks." I guess.

What the hell was I supposed to say?

"Listen, it's not my place, and Steffy would be beyond annoyed at this patriarchal handing over type thing, and I don't like the way if seems either so I'm just going to say it. She's been through a lot, and I'll admit, most of it because of me, so if you ever hurt her—"

"You never have to worry about that man."

"And—Just, I'm happy she found someone who makes her happy. If it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's you. We'll work on it, we've got time. But I guess, what I'm saying is welcome to the family."

"Thanks man. I promise, I don't take that lightly."

"Okay. I'll see you around."

* * *

Steffy's POV

After the cake cutting and customary smashing and pictures, Ryan could not be found with a slice of cake in his hands. There was nothing more attractive than a Ryan with frosting on his lip.

"Did I see you talking to Liam?"

"Yeah, we're good. We might even be friends. Not now. Now is still kind of awkward, but later."

"Look at you, making friends."

"Whatever. You should really try this cake. Pam is good. This is the best cake I've had in a while." He held his plate out to me.

"Okay."

I leaned up, sweeping the frosting off his lips with my own, reveling the sugary taste.

"Mmm, what is that buttercream?"

"Yeah, and they did vanilla, but there's something lemon-y in here."

My boyfriend, the chef everybody.

"I'm more of a red velvet or chocolate guy myself for future reference, but this is pretty good."

"I'll keep that in mind."

And just with that one day, and those many little moments, the wave peaked.

A/N: A long chapter, hopefully it wasn't too all over the place.

So, the Ryan and Liam moment; I personally hate when guys act all territorial over a girl and make everything seem like a handoff or a transaction. My feminist sensibilities were screaming as I wrote it and I pretty much just wrote it in there that the patriarchal society thing is pretty annoying, but I wanted them to have a come together moment forming this 'everybody's cool with the 'stepparents'/ 'significant others' and make a blended family unit' thing. I know it crapped out in the show, but I thought what they were trying to do was pretty cool.

Also, I wanted to write something where Ryan understands how it must feel for a dad separated from his family, to feel stepped on or replaced when new relationships blossom. I know Liam hasn't had to deal with that in the show, and I don't know if he ever will, considering the cycle, but myself being inexperienced with that I hope I did it justice.

I've mapped it out, and I'm thinking around 5 more chapters before this story ends. Thanks for sticking with me. Until next time… :-)


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

A/N: Happy Holidays! I hope everyone had a great Christmas and have a great new year!

I'm back at it again with another one!

I tried not to be a pessimist. I really did, but sometimes that's simply what it means to be realistic.

Just like it's realistic to know that when things were going really great—I mean, as close to perfect as things can get— that something is going to come along to mess everything up.

When I was with Liam, that something was always Hope.

Things would be going great and then she'd show up, and things would get tense and awkward.

But the silver lining about that was I was always prepared. I always knew that Hope's return would make Liam wobble.

With Ryan, I didn't know. This was new territory and while he wasn't the type to wobble, I had no idea what to expect, who could come along, and what could change to shake this steady boat we were on.

And the paranoia of that drove me crazier and crazier the deeper I fell into us.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I never said what I was feeling.

Even when he said it first.

We were having a picnic, at the edge of the cliff, the same place I brought him to that first night when everything with us started. We were sitting in the shade of a massive umbrella, Kelly had passed out in her carrier after her full day of lying on her belly, and trying to grab and eat everything in sight, including the grass and at one point, my hair and nose.

After all that hard work, she passed out like a champion listening to the waves crash below.

"I could stay here forever." I said.

"Me too." He said. "You know, it's become my favourite place too."

I smiled, leaning back against him. "Get your own."

"No, I'm serious. It's become my favourite place, but lately anywhere you are is my favourite place. That's why I stayed when you asked. I need to be where you are. I need to see that beautiful smile, and those eyes light up when you laugh. I never want to leave your side because being with you is the only chance I have at true happiness. You, Steffy Forrester, are the love of my life, the only person in the world tailored specifically for me."

My breath caught it my throat, and the words were at the tip of my tongue.

 _I love you, too._

 _I couldn't imagine my life without you._

 _You make me brave._

 _You make me want to stand up in front of everyone I know and say, 'This is it. I'm closing up shop. There are no other fish in the sea for me.'_

But self-preservation kept my tongue tied.

So, I poured all of that into my kiss, tangling my fingers in his hair, and hoped he knew what I couldn't bring myself to say.

* * *

If Ryan doubted my feelings for him because of my silence, he didn't make it known. Granted, we were busy working on the official press release of our partnership with the Raven Model, and we tried to keep it semi-professional at work with the exception of a few kisses, and innocent finger caresses.

Needless to say, there wasn't much time to talk about us, as most of our late nights were filled with final drafts, decisions, champagne orders and venue verifications.

And then finally the day arrived.

We had decided that Raven and Ryan would do most of the talking, while I would be Forrester's representative there to express our excitement about this new venture and answer any Forrester related questions.

"We are pleased to announce the partnership between our company The Raven Model and Forrester Creations. We are hopeful that this collaboration will be prosperous for both of our companies moving forward." Ryan said.

"As head designer, I will continue to design for Raven Model as well as occasionally collaborating with some of Forrester's greatest." Raven said.

"I will oversee this partnership here in LA, and I leave our headquarters in Paris to my very capable COO, Reed Thomas." Ryan said. "At this time, we'll take any questions."

The cameras flashed repeatedly as hands rose and hollers sounded in the room.

"Will Raven Model be absolved into Forrester Creations?"

"No. Forrester Creations and The Raven Model will remain separate companies. Our lines will be completely separate unless otherwise announced. The Raven Model now has a stake in Forrester and vice versa and are working towards our continued profit." Ryan answered.

"Raven, will you also be moving to LA?"

"My home base will be LA and Paris, but you know I never stay in one place too long?"

Chuckles arose from the room, until a female voice cut through the noise.

"What can you say about the rumours that the partnership between Forrester and Raven Model, is not purely professional?"

My gaze snapped to where the voice originated. She was tall, with blond hair, and makeup that accentuated her hazel eyes. She could've model for us, she was so pretty. But I'd worked with her before, when fall out demanded that we stay away from Spencer Publications. Her name was Eloise Bartholomew, she ran the online paper, L.A. Press. She wasn't usually one for gossip blogs though.

I glanced over at Ryan, who looked shocked at the question. He looked at me for confirmation or guidance, but I wasn't sure what to give him. Our private life was none of their business until we decided otherwise.

"This partnership is strictly business." I said, taking the mic. "Thank you for all for coming. We will be releasing an official more in-depth statement tomorrow."

"What was that about?" I asked as the reporters began shuffling out of the room. "She's never been that 'paparazzo' before."

"Wait, you've worked with her before?" Raven asked.

"Yeah." I said. "I even set up an interview for you and Ryan with her today. Why?"

The silence was only broken by the thud of her against Ryan as she threw herself into his arms.

"It's been so long." She said, upon release.

Then she leaned over and hugged Raven. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Elle." She said, sounding less than pleased.

Elle.

Elle?

Where did I hear that name before?

"Elle, as in…" I said, more to myself than anyone else

"Yup." Raven said.

Elle as in Ryan's ex-girlfriend from high school. Elle, who came to America without him. The one that Raven felt guilty about. The one that got away.

Huh.

I snuck a peak at Ryan. I don't know what I was hoping to find in his expression. But it was impassive, completely blank.

Not even a frown.

I had no clue what that meant.

But it wasn't reassuring.

A/N: Lol, I never name drop for no reason. Well, except the COO guy, I just thought that's how they would say that in the business world. I know it's been a couple of chapters since that little backstory with Raven, so hopefully my little hints jogged your memory. When I planned this whole thing, I didn't think my updates would suffer so much from my exams and stuff, but I think that was chapter 16 in case you guys need a refresher. Lol.

Anyway, until next time… ;-)


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

A/N: Hey guys! I really want to finish this story before the new year, because I find I can't update frequently with my school work load. So, I'm going to try to update frequently in the next two days.

Ryan's POV

It was strange seeing Elle again.

When she left Paris, I didn't know if she was going to follow our original plan.

I would play hockey and she would attend NYU, we would get an apartment near-by so she wouldn't have to commute too far, and I'd have a home base.

Without me being a rookie for the Rangers, she didn't have any reason to go to New York. She always did want someplace sunny.

I wasn't prepared for her. I didn't think I'd ever see her again, especially not when I was happy with someone else.

I always thought that if I did, I'd be angry.

I mean, I was drowning. Raven was a wreck. I'd almost lost her and nothing I did really seemed to be helping. The grandparents were all but ready to disown her, so I was trying to help her all on my own and in the midst of all that, she sends a voicemail, telling me that she was going to go ahead with our plans without me.

At eighteen, I was furious. The only person I had to lean on had abandoned me.

But now, it didn't matter so much.

If she hadn't, I never would've met Steffy and not knowing Steffy sounds like a miserable alternative.

"Okay, we should probably get this thing started." Elle said.

"Yeah, I got you all a table at Il Giardino, or you can use the roof deck if you want." Steffy said.

"Thanks. We'll go to Il Giardino." Elle said.

Raven rolled her eyes, I gave her a pointed look that she understood. "Okay. I'll take her down. You'll meet us in five." At Elle's frown she continued, "just some last-minute CEO stuff they need to handle."

"Okay. Hurry though, I can't wait to catch up." She called back as Raven pulled her from the room, leaving me and an uncharacteristically quiet Steffy.

"So…" I said.

"So."

I crossed the distance and pulled her into me, her hands rested on my chest as she looked at me.

"That's my ex-girlfriend."

"I know." She said. "You never told me about her."

"But you know, anyway. Raven told you."

She nodded. "Her side of things. Why didn't you tell me yours?"

I shrugged. "It wasn't important. It was so long ago, you should really be more worried about my more current ex-girlfriends. They're the ones you've got to look out for." I grinned.

She pinched me.

"Okay. Okay. I'll tell you all about it later. I promise."

She kissed my cheek and shoved me away. "Go hang out with your ex-girlfriend."

* * *

"So," Elle said. "Tell me how this all started. I want to know everything, for me and for the interview." She placed a recorder on the table.

"Well, after you left," Raven said, ignoring my glares from across the table. "When I was recovering, I fell back into art. It made me feel close to dad again, less lonely. It helped me cope. Ryan was in business school and spending all his free time hovering over me like a mama bear. He had all the know how about running a business, but he didn't really have a product. One day, I saw a pattern in a fabric store that was almost the exact scene I had painted, and I workshopped it into a dress, just to keep my hands busy and loved it. We figured other people would too. We just went from there."

"It wasn't hard. Most start-ups end in the year in the red, but we broke even. Raven's designs were unique. It was a departure from the traditional." I said.

"It was like dressing yourself in art. I liked to pick patterns and textiles that sometimes depicted a whole landscaping scene or choose starched fabrics that was like stepping into a cubism painting. People loved it and it took off."

Raven smiled a little deviously. "But tell me about you? What was it like those first months here? Was it lonely? I can only imagine it was lonely."

The underlying snark was evident.

I sighed.

"Um, it was hard at first. But it got better." She said. "What would you like fashion followers in LA to know about you."

"We're a brand dedicated to unique, one of a kind designs that make women feel beautiful."

"Brother says it best."

"So, I know you didn't really answer my question at the conference, but in private, are you still single?"

"Off the record, no. I am part of a pair."

"And if you weren't…"

"Hard pass." Raven interrupted.

"What she means is, I'm not going to be single again."

A/N: More to come.

So, Steffy in the next couple of chapters is going to be a little out of character. Steffy's never really been the insecure, questioning his feelings type. The writer's kind of left that to Hope for the show, and I love that Steffy is this strong, independent, confident woman. That being said, I feel like it's natural to carry some baggage from past relationships—especially one as messed up as hers with Liam— to be a little gun-shy and have walls up to protect yourself.

I don't know that we'll ever see that in the show with the cycle they're on, but I imagine Steffy would hesitate a little before diving in head first. That's just my interpretation, though.

Just fair warning, Steffy might be a little different in these upcoming chapters.

Until next time…:-)


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

A/N: Back at it again with another one!

Steffy's POV

I needed some distance to gain perspective, and Ryan had to return to Paris to finalize the move, so it worked in my favour.

Eloise "Elle" had managed to insert herself into Forrester most days, claiming interview process and final touches. That was fairly transparent, I knew better than anyone what it was like to want to be with Ryan.

Granted, Ryan didn't budge. He showed her the same polite disinterest I'd seen before with colleagues he didn't like, but I'd seen the pattern before.

These hangers-on, they completely disregarded the new relationship, patiently waiting to bring up some memory, or an 'accidental' brushing of the hands. They promised friendship and slowly planted seeds of doubts, while pitching themselves as the optimal replacement.

I wasn't going to that again. I didn't end things with Liam to land in the same situation all over again.

I needed some space to figure out what was going to happen, and I'd done a great job at creating some.

Ryan wasn't blind to the distance I was putting between us, and he gave me plenty of opportunities to talk it out, but Elle had impeccable timing whether it was her in person or Ryan's phone dinging with email alerts because apparently that's what she did when she couldn't secure a phone number to text.

This last round of interviews was happening in the office across the hall.

Raven entered my office, leaning dramatically against the closed door.

I laughed.

"Are you okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know, just when I stop being rude to her for ditching my brother, she makes it worse by being so blunt about—"

"Her interest in Ryan? Don't worry, it's not news to me."

She sighed. "Yeah. She's just…"

"Listen, I get screwing up and wanting a second chance more than anything. Maybe she's just looking to see if there's anything still there."

We both wanted the answer to that question.

"You know there isn't."

"If life's thought me anything, it's that nobody ever really knows anything."

She frowned. "Well, I know my brother. He's crazy about you, even when you retreat behind those walls."

"He told you?"

"He didn't have to. Anybody with eyes can see you being weird."

In truth, I didn't have a good explanation for my behaviour. But I just needed everyone to be sure. I needed to be sure. There couldn't be any regrets this time.

"So, you're sure there's nothing there?"

"Don't you think that's a question you should be asking me?" Ryan asked, entering my office.

Raven's eyebrows hit her hairline, before she let herself out.

Coward.

"Okay, I'm asking then." I said.

His jaw clenched. "I made it pretty clear I'm not interested."

"Didn't stop her." I muttered.

"I can't control that."

"No, you can't. You also can't control the future. What if you have feelings for her again? What if you—"

"What if you trust me when I say that I don't? What if you believe that I love you and want to be with you? Just you. Nobody else."

I sighed.

It wasn't that simple.

"Have I given you any reason to doubt me?"

No, he hadn't.

But there was always time for that. It's not like you can ever anticipate who's going to let you down and when.

"Listen, I came to ask you to dinner, since I have to leave tomorrow. I wasn't sure if you remembered considering how great you've been at ghosting these last weeks. Or are you still avoiding me?"

"That's not fair."

"Neither is being in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust me, but it is what it is."

Well, this didn't feel good.

"Ryan, I—"

But it was as if a hand closed around my throat preventing me from saying anything.

God, what was that?

"It's okay. "He pulled the door open. "But think about which one of us really has one foot out the door."

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to dampen the hot feeling in my head.

What was I doing?

A/N: I did warn you about Steffy's OOC behaviour. I think her apprehension would be natural. I really hope we get to see that in the show, whether it's with Liam, or someone new.

I didn't want it to come off as weakness, but more as self-preservation, and knowing when to get out to avoid pain. Just the possibility of being in another triangle has Steffy a little tense, because she's done with all that drama. Also, I wasn't trying to be shady towards Hope in the beginning but rereading it, it does kind of come off that way, but it's the truth.

We're coming close to the end.

Until next time… :-)


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve, or Happy New Year, depending on when you read this lol.

Steffy's POV

Radio silence from Ryan.

I couldn't say I expected him to make the first move, but I couldn't, not when I was still so unsure of everything.

So, I stayed at the Cliff House. Her obliviousness to the entire situation lightened my mood some.

"Knock knock." Liam said. "Sorry to just drop by, but I missed this little munchkin." He said, picking Kelly up from her play yard. "I thought I'd come relieve Amelia. What're you doing home?"

"Not in the right headspace for work today." I mumbled.

"Yeah, what's going on?"

I sighed. "Nothing."

"Yeah, because I believe that." He scoffed. "Seriously, though."

"Ryan and I had fight." I said.

He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "About what?"

"I don't know. Nothing. Everything. He says I have one foot out the door, but I'm not the one with ex's hanging around."

He smirked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, besides you, but that's different."

"This ex, does he still have feelings for her?"

"He says no."

"And you don't believe him?"

It wasn't that I didn't believe him, exactly. It was that things could change. He wasn't anymore sure of the future than I was. He couldn't predict whether he'd fall out of love with me and have feelings for Elle or anyone else for that matter. Everything was so uncertain.

"Do you love him?" Liam asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes."

"Then, you have to trust that everything will work out. There's never going to be any guarantee." He sighed, shifting Kelly to his other hip. "You never used to hesitate this much.

I stared down at my hands, shrugging.

"I'm sorry that I've made this hesitation necessary."

"Liam—"

"No, let me say it. The way I handled things with you and Hope was bad. And in the last few years I've noticed you making a pre-emptive strike whenever things were getting too complicated with us. You'd pull away, and it's on me for not saying anything then, or being the man you deserved, so you never had to develop that habit in the first place. But Ryan is not me. This new ex is not Hope. The situations are not the same. Take a chance, Steffy. Don't let the mistrust from our triangle carry over into your relationship with Ryan."

The sincerity in his eyes spoke the truth of what I'd been doing, what I've done for a while now. Waiting to be disappointed.

But Ryan hadn't disappointed me.

"Plus," Liam grinned. "I finally kind of like him, so it would work out great for me if I didn't have to go through this whole process with some else."

I laughed at his ridiculousness.

But also, at mine, because it took me this long to realize.

I didn't want to do this with anyone else.

I want to be with him, I wanted everything with him.

"Can you watch Kelly for a little bit?"

"Yeah, of course."

I checked the time.

2:15

I could still make it with a little help. Pulling out my phone I dialed the number.

"Hello?" A familiar male voice answered.

"Carter?"

"Steffy?" He asked.

Questions about that later, focus.

"I need to talk to Raven."

"Hey." She said. "What's up?"

"I need a favour."

* * *

I got there in perfect timing for Ryan's question to the pilot.

"When are we taking off?" He asked.

"We're waiting for another passenger."

"Who?" He asked, as I stood in the doorway.

Sometimes fate and destiny lined up for a well-timed introduction.

"Me." I said, stepping into the cabin.

"You're the passenger?" He asked.

"Well, actually no. I can't come to Paris, but I am here delaying your flight because I have something to say that couldn't wait until you get back."

"And what's that?"

I took the seat across from him, taking his hands in mine.

"I love you too. That's the first thing. I should've said it a long time ago, as soon as I felt it, but I was scared for all the wrong reasons, but never doubt that I love you." His smile made his eyes sparkle, a momentary distraction.

"The second thing, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, so if you didn't already know, I suck at apologies. I pushed you away when Elle resurfaced. I was letting my past get in the way of us. I know you don't have feelings for her. I should've trusted you and not let anything get in the way of us."

He smirked. "You are really bad at apologies. I believe the words you missed were 'I'm' and 'sorry'."

I rolled my eyes, grinning. "Shut up."

"Was there a third thing, because I would really like to kiss you now?" He asked, as he pulled me into the aisle.

"Let's see. Oh, did you know about Raven and Carter because that's news to me. She never—"

"Uh huh." He pressed his lips to mine and wrapped me up in his arms, kissing me long and slow.

I raised my finger causing him to pull away, his forehead resting against mine.

"There was a third thing."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"This." The key rested in my hand. "I know my house kind of has a revolving door because everyone is always in there. Most times more than I am, but this is yours. The key to my home, and my heart. Just don't leave your socks on the floor and you can't watch any of our shows without me."

"Is that all?" He brushed his lips over mine.

"All that I can think of right now." I smiled. "I'll make a list later."

"I look forward to it."

He leaned in to kiss me again.

"Oh, and maybe we should announce that the partnership with Forrester and Raven Model is more than professional, just in case anyone else was wondering."

He pulled back. "Is that really the joke you want to make right now?"

"What?" I asked, innocently. "Too soon."

He shook his head, smiling. "You are…"

"Brilliant, beautiful, brave." I supplied.

"Nuts. But God, I love you."

"I love you, too."

The End.

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! There was going to be another chapter, but I like this ending, Cute, fluffy, funny, my favourites. I really enjoyed writing this, and my other fanfic. You guys really are the best readers. Thank you for making this experience so fun and exciting for me. I'm really glad I did this. I'll probably be inactive for a while, focus on school, limit my fanfiction writing to summer months where I have time to update frequently. This has been one of my favorite parts of 2018, so thank you and I wish you all the best in 2019. Happy New Year! :-)


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